Positive Energy

I have been waking up early, in fact, the last two weeks I have been waking earlier than my alarm (and that's pretty impressive when the alarm is set for 4:00 a.m.)


I feel good, most of the time. Physically I feel wonderful, it's the emotional and mental state that are a bit questionable every now and then. 


I am second guessing myself, and that is unfortunately part of the "competition" game. I did not want to get as lean as last competition, I think I started to lose lean mass, I didn't like the look, nor was it healthy for me, so I have deliberately maintained a higher weight. 


Every once in a while I wonder if I overdid it. I could have lost one more pound, and that would make a big difference on a small frame such as mine. But then again, according to both David and Roy, I am bigger, not fatter, but more muscular.


Wednesday I had my bodyfat checked and it came in low, 5.2% which is more than "respectable" it's phenomenal. It really helped me to wrap my head around what's going on and made me realize that I should be fine, who the hell should complain about bodyfat of 5.2%?! I was sure I would drop at least one more maybe two more pounds and hopefully it will all drop right off my butt! 


I stopped in at Courtside to meet with Monique, she took a half hour out of her day again to review my posing, talk to me about stage presence and gave me a great talk, she is quite the motivational stud muffin! 


She gave me some great tips and reinforced what we had previously discussed, made me promise to chant my "saying" in my head as I am standing on stage, looking directly at the line of judges all staring up at me. It's what ever I want to say to myself, but it needs to convince ME that THEY want me to win; it's designed to pull them into me. It's another head trip. I am not going to tell you what I am saying over and over in my head but anyone who cares to guess can send me an email or a reply to this post. It's a little risque...


I walked out feeling good, feeling strong, feeling capable. I needed her motivational talk, it really helped me. I think it is very important to surround yourself with the right people, people who are supportive and positive. People who make you feel GOOD! I know a lot of people like that, I tend to cut loose those who don't fit that criteria, my life is too short to keep an albatross around my neck. I don't try to "make them come around", I just... walk away.


The sport of Figure is as much a psychological sport as much as a physical sport, maybe even more. Your head will get in your way every time. I know my head stops me from heavy, heavy squats, just as it tells me I am too "fat" when I am close to competition time.


Friday I was training with Roy and not feeling a great deal of energy, this is not typical for me. I told him that I thought I was just "done" ready to be over with the preparation for the competition. He said he could tell, it wasn't like me to cut my set short (one rep! Geez!!)


I was also down one pound from Wednesday, just as I suspected, and I will probably drop another soon.


I tried to finish strong, we discussed the upcoming days training, it must be modified due to depletion, fatigue and the fact that I am doing mostly circuits now as I always do just prior to showtime. It throws his stats off, but oh well, we have plenty of time to make new ones.


After we finished, I started thinking about the new training we would embark on, my goal to gain even more muscle, at least another 2 pounds! I told Roy I would be back the Monday after the competition, I am not taking any time off. "None?" he asked. I said that I would probably skip the gym Monday morning, and just train one that day for a change. He kinda shook his head and smiled, I think he said something about German Volume Training....