Accomplishments and Believing in Yourself

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind for me, getting back to my "normal" routine. Any sane person would tell you there is nothing normal about my routine, but it's normal for me!

I'm back to my usual schedule, training at Gold's Gym every single morning at opening  and training with Roy at Bodycomp Gym 3 days a week after work. 

Guys still stop me at the gym, almost everyday and say something like "Don't you have a competition coming up soon?" Friday I was telling this to Roy and I laughed just thinking about the irony of it all. I weigh a lot more than I did three weeks ago, I fluctuate between 7 to 9 pounds more. It's my normal weight, but can't these guys see that I am not the mean, lean machine I was only a short while ago?!

I like to think I still look bangin' even if I have some soft fat surrounding my hips and abs.....It's still a lot less than most women. I noticed today, on one of my Quad days that I am looking like a very muscular gal right now, strong, not dainty in any way, shape or form! I suppose I need to get a picture, I have neglected to do so, maybe on Sunday I will.

Part of the joy of getting back to my "normal" routine is lifting because I like to lift, not because I have to lift. It was Front Squats today, 5 sets of 8. Roy told me to do as many at 135# as possible. I had to warm up with many sets, I am still having tightness in my hips, it comes and goes but lots of stretching, rolling and warm ups help.

I did my first set it 125#, then I did the remaining at 135#, all four remaining sets! Folks, these are front squats, at more than my bodyweight! My buddy for the morning, before I went on to walking lunges, with a 40# dumbbell in each hand!

I am still basking in my accomplishments, I am proud of myself. When the division of Women's Physique was first introduced, I immediately wanted to switch over, but I didn't think I was ready. Oh, I had the self confidence, that is never a problem for me (sometimes I can come off as quite arrogant due to my confidence), it was my physique, I wasn't quite as muscular as I would need to be. I'm still not, I want to add a bit more but that takes time.

I waited a couple years and trained hard, I kept competing in Figure but I tried to get as big and as muscular as possible. It's not easy when you are a female, you are not young, and and when you are natural - I rely on good food, sleep, and heavy weights. 

Consistency. Dedication. Desire. Passion. Love.

So many of us go through life afraid of what others may say or think about us. I know that I have many people shaking their heads. What is a woman her age doing dressed (or not dressed) like that!? Who does she think she is?!

But do I care? No. I live my life for me. For my pleasure, my pursuit of my own happiness. While I want my family and friends to be proud of me, I can only do what I feel I need to do in the one life I have been given.

I feel fortunate to have found what makes me feel young, makes me feel healthy and alive, what makes me want to jump out of bed every morning. I don't roll over and look at the alarm clock, dreading the start of another day, ever.

Look at your life, think about what you are doing, what you are accomplishing. Are you proud of yourself? Can you walk through life with your head held high, shoulders back, laughing out loud? I hope so, we should all be doing just that.

I have a motivational video below, one of the most moving I have seen in quite some time. Email readers will need to navigate directly to the blog by clicking on the Ready In 5 Weeks link at the top of the page.

 

My First Women's Physique Competition

I did it! I competed in my first Women's Physique competition. I have been delaying writing this because I have so much to say, and so little time to say it! 

So I decided I need to do what I do in life everyday, and just jump right in! I have lots of pictures to share, and then I will write more each week about certain parts and events.

I must start with the fact that this was so different than Figure, words can barely describe it. Figure had become easy to me, it wasn't a challenge. Sure, I always had to work on my physique, try to look better each competition, but I knew what to expect each time, there was not much of a challenge.

This was a big challenge, the posing (real posing, not just "model" turns"), flexing, a routine to music. And it's odd, but I moved up in the hierarchy! Not something I intended to do, it just happens I guess.

Bikini is at the bottom, then Figure, Women's Physique and then Bodybuilding. Many women look at each as a step up, you add more muscle and move up the ranks. Now not everyone wants to move up, I have no desire to be a Bodybuilder or as big as one, and many women have no desire to be a Physique competitor, but they all know how much more work it takes to get there, they respect that.

Some of the women, women I have known from previous competitions, would look at me in awe and ask how it felt to be a Physique Competitor! There are not many of us you know! Below are pictures of my class. Class "A" which is up to and including 5' 6". No age group. I felt very proud to have come in 3rd, especially considering I am old enough to be the mother of most of the gals I am standing next to! 

Unlike Figure and Bikini, where they compare and also judge individually, they only line us up together, to compare us all, we never pose on our own, that is reserved for the posing routine at night, and it's purely for entertainment. 

The mandatory poses are Front Double Biceps, Side Chest, Back Double Biceps, Side Triceps, and Ab/ Thigh. The head judge calls them out and we pose, it's hard, you need to be sure everything is flexed and showing at it's best, it takes a great deal of practice. I had fun as we would pose I could see the other gals out of the corner of my eye, and we would each flex harder and harder. 

 You can see how much more muscle we all carry if you compared us to a Figure competitor. These gals here are ripped! (Oh! I'm one of them!)

My absolute favorite part was my posing routine a the evening show. I had so much fun performing it. I had the music mixed by Mastermindz Productions and the routine was choreographed by Michelle Brent. Michelle has been a Bodybuilder for 26 years and she has a protein cookie business too! Both my music and routine were upbeat, fun, and entertaining. I am not overly fond of slow routines, but super fast would be hard to perform in a depleted state, so I think I had a happy medium.

Here is a Youtube of my routine, crank up the music! (Email subscribers will need to navigate directly to the blog link at the top to view the video).

Here is a link to all my photos from my Facebook  album.  You do not need to have a Facebook account to view these. Click on the first picture to make them all larger and click on through. You will see my day as it progressed  Sakura (in a red suit) is in many of them.

If you have any questions, ask away! I have so much to tell to recount the fabulous time I had with my friend Sakura and other women I met and interacted with along the way. I hope to find some time to write in the near future  until then, enjoy the pictures! 

Competition Time

My competition day is here! I am happy to be at the end, while I love the preparation and anticipation, it is a lot of work, stress, and time. Like any goal in life that is important, the work achieving it is long, arduous and stressful.

These pictures were taken on Thursday, two days prior to the show. I started my dehydration process, but the days where my body will really make dramatic changes are Friday afternoon and Saturday as everything tightens up.

I am pleased that I weigh one pound more (Friday) than I did last year at the same time, I felt I was too lean and looked it. The guidelines in Physique do not call for super ripped, super lean like Bodybuilding, although there will certainly be competitors there who are. it will be interesting to see if they are the ones who place (meaning the judges won't follow the guidelines established by the NPC), or the less ripped ones will. Only time will tell!

I never lost all the fat in my face as I usually do, don't get me wrong  it's still very lean but not gaunt as it was in the past. And my glutes, they still have ample padding, which is another odd thing. 

I took Thursday and Friday off to pack, shop, cook, and rest. When you are heading into the show it is exhausting. You have reached saturation point, you are tired, truly fatigued, hungry, thirsty, and in need of coffee. Tuesday at work I had a caffeine withdrawal headache all day, so I took 400 mg of caffeine the following days to ease that. I am looking forward to a really hot, black cup of coffee on Sunday morning. I will get up before anyone else and have my coffee and some sourdough toast with melted sharp cheddar cheese. Or maybe cheesecake.

Cooper is home for the weekend, so he and David have boys-night Friday while I am in my hotel with Sakura. Then on Sunday, Mother's Day I will be home with the family again.

Friday afternoon I will be heading to the hotel and will get my spray tan, this is what makes all of the definition show in the muscles. Then Sakura and I will hang out and just talk and rest. Resting is important for a few days leading up as it reduces cortisol levels.

Thursday and Friday there was no training allowed (rest is needed) so I went into the gym at opening each day and practiced posing and my routine. It's amazing how tired all that flexing makes you!

Below is a video of my posing on Thursday. The body fat is in check, low yet not too low, I am not hard enough yet but the dehydration will take care of that, but I think I am on track.

 

Thursday I did a little baking. I made my traditional cheesecake that I eat Friday night and Saturday morning and I made some Paleo brownies. David tried them and said they were good, not super chocolaty and lighter, more cake like than usual. The flour is replaced with blanched almond flour and the sugar is replaced with fresh dates. 

I dropped some brownies and cheesecake off for Roy about 12:30 on Friday and went home to finish packing and rest a bit before I head out.

Roy is coming to pre-judging to see me, so is one guy from work. David will be coming to finals and several of the guys from the gym will be there too.

No matter what happens, what the outcome is, I saw a quote today that sums it all up:

You see, I am already a champion.

Feeling Confident

I have always marveled at how a woman's confidence level increases the more she lifts weights.  And I do mean weights not cardio. You will see a dramatic difference in your body when you start on a weight lifting regime, you will not see the same thing with cardio. 

I have seen it in many friends, I have seen it in myself. My "transformation" took place a very long tine ago. It wasn't overnight, it wasn't for an event, it was for....

LIFE

I was never super heavy, but I could be something more, something attractive, sexy, strong, fit and healthy. That's what I wanted, and that's what I got.

I have been watching my friend Sakura change, in such a short period of time. I say short because although it has been anything but short to her, the progress she has made in the last several months is amazing. She looks younger, happier, and more confident. You will see lots of pictures of the two of us, we will be almost inseparable at the competition. I will go on first, and she will go on later in the Figure division. But I will be watching like a mother hen, watching on the closed circuit TV in the pump up room, ready to hug her when she comes off stage.

My friend "R" from Courtside just emailed me to wish me luck at the competition. She and I don't see each other much any longer since I changed gyms, we both work full time, have families and very busy lives. But when we first met, she had just recently started training and we became fast friends talking about our diets and food all the time. She made an amazing transformation, people even started asking her if she was going to start competing! Today she told me she is ready to take the test to become a Certified Personal Trainer! 

I speak to women all the time who want to make changes in the right direction, and they all feel somewhat lost at first, unsure of what to do, who to turn to. It can be very overwhelming indeed. Everyone is an expert right?  So they ask me. 

Even some men at the gym will ask me about diet and training. The interesting thing to me is this, the men all seem to understand very quickly that it's the diet that will make or break you; it's the women who think it's the training. 

The men lift in the gym, although many don't necessarily lift properly or heavy enough, but they are there lifting, so they get it. They know that if they cleaned up their diet, they will get ripped.

Most women seem to focus on cardio, they think they are eating healthy and all they need to do is a whole lot of cardio and avoid weights. They seem to think that lifting weights makes you big and bulky. I lift weights as heavy as I possibly can, and while some people might say I am big, I am certainly not bulky. I am lean as can be.

I encourage you to seek out anyone who looks the way you want to, make friends, get to know them. They will not always have time to give you everything you need to succeed, but remember that each bit of knowledge is that much more than you had previously. 

So many people have connected with me through my blog, I often wonder how they are doing, how is the program going. Some email me frequently, and others pop in with updates every few months or so. I do like hearing how it's going. 

Confidence comes when you feel good about yourself, when you feel successful and happy. If you lack confidence in yourself, go out and get some! Seek out a trainer who has like minded goals, someone positive to help you. Hire a Nutritionist, it's not a life time commitment, it can be a few sessions just as I had. Join a gym, start slowly, then proceed with gusto! Join a group, I once belonged to a marathon training group called San Jose Fit, we ran together almost everyday, I really got to know my running team and looked forward to it every time we met.

Read, read, read! I have more books on training an nutrition that you can imagine. I go back to them over and over again.

Visualize yourself as the physical being you want to be, believe in yourself.

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” 

― Mahatma Gandhi

Supporting Fellow Competitors

I have noticed that things can get ugly in the world of competitions. I am not quite sure why I never felt this way before, but I am seeing a lot more of the sides of things that I don't particularly care for. 

I remember when I first started, I was given this advice for backstage: "Keep your headphones in, just sit, listen to some music and chill. They can get catty".

I didn't take that advice, because I was too nervous, too anxious, too wound up. I ended up talking to many different women, some I have developed lasting friendships with.

I never really noticed it too much before, although there was always a "group" that would hang out together,  and they would all stare at anyone they thought might be competition to them, but I never paid attention, they could be in their own "small" world as far as I was concerned. 

I have always sought the friendship of fellow competitors  even though we are competing against each other, it really doesn't matter, because everything depends on me. On how I look, how I have trained and dieted, how I present myself at the competition. Ultimately there will always be someone who places better than me. I have been in competitions where one gal placed ahead of me, and the next year I placed ahead of her. It's very fluid and all of our life's events will mold our look for that one day.

I think that we should all encourage each other, support each other and offer help where we can. Really, it's "us" against the rest of the world isn't it? And it's a lot easier when you have someone on your side to commiserate with. 

Recently I saw a fellow competitor say something very negative about another competitor on Facebook. I was shocked, how could she do that? 

I realized that I look at the competitions differently than she does. I look at it as competing against myself, to be better each time, to be better than I was before, to be better than ever. She looks at it to win, pure and simple, and at any cost.
 
I think their motivation for competing will tell all. I compete because I train. I train hard and I want a way to showcase all of my hard work and effort, someplace outside of the gym. Training is my passion.

Many people train only to compete, the training is not their love, but the result is. They don't enjoy training, would prefer to do other things, complain about it and the diet all the time and if they could compete without training, that's probably what they would do.

Of course, placing above someone else, and winning is fantastic, it makes all the hard work a bit easier to accept. But not placing does not mean I have failed. I was still the best I could be at that time. I still have the knowledge that I look absolutely stunning, ripped, healthy, fit and amazing and am very proud of it. I work hard everyday to maintain this, and no plastic trophy (or lack of) is really going to change anything about that.

If I had ever gone into a competition and hadn't prepped my very hardest, that may change the way I feel about it all, but I have never done that. My attitude has changed a bit about them all, I know that. I think I am more easy going, less stressed, less worried about it  all, but that doesn't mean I am not busting my butt day in and day out still. I am just doing it without all the whining and complaining! I am still doing everything I should be to create the physique that I want, and hopefully, that the judges want too.

But my own interests are most important, that's why I decided to go into Physique. The Figure look was becoming softer, more feminine, less muscular.  Although I do not want to look like a Bodybuilder, I also decided that I wanted more than the Figure competitor look, I wanted more muscle and to be leaner. 

I do it for myself. I also do it for the interaction and wonderful people I meet. I have developed many friendships with women I have met at competitions, or because of competitions. 

I love helping others reach their potential, or at least believe that they can. I want to surround myself with happy, successful, beautiful friends who are proud of their accomplishments. I don't want to be standing on an island, alone  holding my plastic trophy. 

It's all winding down, or winding up! I guess it all depends on how you look at it! I feel like I have gotten a second wind, I have a new found energy that had been lacking for several weeks. I am sure it's the strain of the diet, the two a day training, the constant wondering about how I am doing, how am I looking now? Am I getting too old for this? (NEVER!!) ha ha ha 

It's 11 days till my competition, I am looking forward to some good, quality food. Once a day at the gym, and mostly, training just for the fun of it! Roy, if you are reading, I want to push the sled! Or use the battle ropes. Chains, oh we did that, and they were hard, but I will have more calories soon, I will have more energy. Hmmmm, the heavy bag is gone, maybe we should just spar? 

I know going into it that I will meet many new faces, some I will connect with and continue the friendship, others I may only see again at another competition. 

I know going out of it that I will be stronger, have more confidence, feel accomplishment and quite a bit of happiness. The feeling of sticking through something so demanding and strenuous, something that has a definite ending date, a final chapter, is difficult to describe. 

And then, then the cooking and recipes shall begin!

Three Weeks Out till Women's Physique Competition

Yes, I am still here! Busy, busy, busy! When I post this it will really be only two weeks from my competition, but I just got around to doing this. It's been a fast and furious few months in preparation of my first Women's Physique competition, I almost feel like it's my very first show, but it's not, I should be calm and collected, but the thought of this new REAL posing and a dance/posing routine to music is starting to make me a bit anxious. 

I spend as much time as possible practicing my posing, videoing it and critiquing myself. There is always room for improvement. Luckily I have some awesome people nudging me along and checking in now and again. It's exciting that my friend Sakura Barrientos and I will be sharing a room the night before. We have our tans scheduled together and we can talk and laugh all evening long. Usually I am all by myself, posting pictures on Facebook of my cheesecake that I am eating, which drives all the other competitors absolutely crazy! I get lean, super lean and that's my "secret" to filling out the night before. That  along with a huge baked potato and steak. Then I eat the same thing in the morning. The fun is just about to begin.....

I have maintained my weight higher than usual on purpose. In these pictures I am 124 pounds, but as I write this I am at 122 and have been for almost a week. I will drop only a little bit more and hopefully, will look perfect once I dehydrate. That will make the skin tight and hard looking, it already looks thin. In fact, Wednesday night as I sat attempting to breathe (after Roy had me doing squats with a whopping 162 1/2 pounds!!!!), he looked at me and said "Your skin on your arms and chest is paper thin" yes, it looks white, translucent, delicate and....thin now. The only part left is the abs and upper hip area a bit, but it will go shortly.

I have not curtailed my lifting, at least not intentionally. No weights have been lowered, but Thursday at 5:00 a.m. as I trained hamstrings and lower back on my own, I felt so fatigued, that at times I wanted to crumple to the ground and just cry.

Then I thought of my dad who has been struggling with real fatigue, brought on by his Acute Myeloid Leukemia (bone marrow cancer). His will not go away when he rests or eats a cheeseburger, mine will. It made me cry a bit thinking how selfish I was being and reminded myself that I hate whiners. I pushed on and finished my training, at the dictated reps and weights. I know I was making a lot of noise as I performed set after set of back extensions on the Glute Ham Raise, while holding a 50 pound dumbbell to my chest, people were looking, but I didn't care, I never do.

I have been training two, and sometimes (often) three times a day. I don't do a long bout of cardio, the 20 minutes on the stairmill or treadmill has turned to 30 minutes. Then the stairs at work, usually 3 times a week, but not for long, I don't have the energy to run up and down, and jump rope for more than 20 minutes.

So any free time I have is spent grocery shopping, preparing food, eating or sleeping. That's about it. 

And there is the lifting, the part I love, every single day, sometimes twice a day just to fit it all in. My shoulder training has changed a bit and I have added in cables to round everything out. So on Tuesdays I have to go back to the gym after work to finish up shoulders. Then on Fridays after I train shoulders with Roy, I eat and make sure I have fuel, then it's back into Gold's to finish on my own. It's not a good idea to train for a long extended period of time, just like fasted cardio - you are just making your muscle eat itself all up!

My suit bottoms should be back to me Saturday, so Sunday I have to take some video of myself posing in my suit. It does make a difference and I haven't had it this whole time, so I am only guessing how I will look. I sent it back to Celeste Harsa of Suits by Celeste who made my suit for me because....my glutes have changed. They have gotten bigger (this is a good thing) and more muscular, so when I lost bodyfat they pretty much stayed bigger than usual. My suit did not care for that, it wanted to be a permanent wedgie and those are forbidden in the rules! The funny thing is, most of the suits look like wedgies anyway!

So I have been wearing some "boyshort" undies when I pose. It doesn't seem to bother anyone and allows me to see my body better.

I am also very fortunate to belong to a gym where so many people support me. It's almost all men, there are very few gals at the gym (who lift) first thing in the morning. But they're all encouraging, tell me how great I look, offer advice and are generally fun guys to be around. 

Below is a video of my posing, if you are an email subscriber you will need to click on the blog link at the top to go directly to the blog to view this (that means you dad!)

Training Motivation

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

~ Maria Robinson

The future has many names: For the weak, it means the unattainable. For the fearful, it means the unknown. For the courageous, it means opportunity.
~ Victor Hugo

For success, attitude is equally as important as ability. 

~ Harry F. Banks

The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat.

~ Napoleon Hill

Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future. 

~ Denis Waitley

"Experience has taught me that there is one chief reason why some people succeed and others fail. The difference is not one of knowing, but of doing. The successful man is not so superior in ability as in action. So far as success can be reduced to a formula, it consists of this: doing what you know you should do."

~ Roger Babson

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

~ Mahatma Gandhi