It is always so amazing to me how drastically life changes when I am not in competition mode. I realize how much time and energy I spend on the sole pursuit of my goal.
And what is the goal? It is to have the best physique, as determined by the 12 or so judges (mostly male) sitting in the orchestra pit of the auditorium, looking up at me as I pose next to other women. And what is the best physique? Well, I am really not sure, they seem to change their minds, and honestly, sometimes no one can really understand what they are awarding, often the winner isn’t who the other competitors would choose.
And to attain this physique? You cannot eat a damn thing that anyone else wants to, for three months. Basically life is gray and monotonous, it doesn’t have to be awful, but it certainly isn’t exciting.
Since I have finally accepted the fact that I won’t be competing in the near future, especially since just picking up my cat hurt my side, I have settled down into my normal life, back to enjoying simple things that many people take for granted, yet I often avoided, only because my sights were on the goal.
This past week at work has been only what I can call horrendous, no one was injured, no one died, but it has been extremely stressful, and it won’t get much better for a few weeks. Saturday was a very long day, we had 10,000 people descend on us and we had technical issues and I was supposed to maintain a sense of semblance, continue business and ensure I did what I was there to do, in the absence of a working computer system. Right.
David and Cooper stopped by about noon, they took one look at me and asked if I had eaten anything and advised me to drink water, my lips were dry and cracked, I hadn’t done either, I was way too busy.
I got home late Saturday and had a cocktail, then some sparkling wine and some wine with dinner. I set my alarm to get to the gym when they opened at 6am, I couldn’t go the day before as I had to be at work at 7am to get set up.
I awoke Saturday night at 1am with a pounding headache, I am sure it was due to lack of water, and drinking alcohol, I am not used to it and certainly not used to drinking several glasses. I was still awake at 3am. I decided to turn off the alarm, a very odd thing for me to do.
I awoke at 6:30am and went to the gym; I walked my usual 60 minutes on the stair mill, chatting every now and again with folks. Then a long shower and an even longer steam and then home to eat.
David and I decided to wander down to the farmers market, we bought meat at Prather Ranch, they have fantastic organic pork, and incredible ground beef that is ground from one animal, so it’s not mixed together with huge vats of other beef, no chance on e-coli, and I love their meat. Even Cooper specifically asks for their ground beef, it tastes better than any he has ever had.
We picked up herbs, mizuna, fingerlings, jams from Frog Hollow Farm, mini kabocha, a plate of enchiladas for Coopers breakfast.
I asked David if we could go to Opa in Los Gatos, I still crave that Greek salad I have been dreaming about for weeks. As we drove in the sunshine, with the top down I told him I am not feeling well, emotionally, I am really bothered. I think it is work, but I am not sure. Do you ever experience that? You know something is nagging at you, eating away at you, yet you cannot put your finger on it. I think it is the stresses of my job; I need to somehow get past this.
We got into Opa, it was noisy and packed. On Sundays they have all you can drink mimosas for $12.99. The last thing on earth I want is vats of cheap sparkling wine and even cheaper orange juice, but you could see so many people were having a fabulous time with theirs!
We had a glass of sauvignon blanc and ordered the flaming cheese and pita, it is great. Then I ordered my favorite dish (not on the menu, but they do it anyway), seafood skewers (prawns and scallops grilled) on a Greek salad, dressing on the side. David decided to order the same.
This dish is completely healthy and a great dish for anyone watching their weight and concerned with eating lots of vegetables and lean protein. Only use a small amount of dressing, or as David did, none.
Another glass of wine and we paid the bill and wandered down the street. We were standing in front of Fleur de Cocoa, I had to go in.
We had a cup of coffee and a mini croissant. I picked out several chocolates to take home, three of each.
As I settled in the car, I realized that for a couple hours I had forgotten everything, I laughed, I ate, I joked, and David and I had fun talking with the rather drunk large group of people next to us. We drove home, in the warm sunshine, with the top down and the wind blowing in my hair, I rejoiced in the beautiful green of my town.