Wednesday, May 11, 2011

2011 NPC Contra Costa

I didn’t plan on attending the 2011 NPC Contra Costa on Saturday, it was the competition I was supposed to be competing in when I was injured, and my son had a big lacrosse payoff, so I decided I would watch him instead.

Well, his game was scheduled to start at 6:00pm! I told David I would go meet Maria at the show, we would chat and watch friends compete. I had never been to a show before.  Really! I have
competed in 7, yet have only sat in the audience about 10 minutes and that’s it.

I had promised David that I would be home to go to the opening of a new wine shop, they were having an oyster fest and wine by the glass, it would be great fun on a Saturday afternoon.

Typically the Figure gals would be finished by 2:00 and Deirdre told me they checked in the night before, so it should be on time and faster this year.

I got to the show halfway through the men- I had no desire to see them, but didn’t want to be late, you never know how much time to allow! They wouldn’t let me bring in water or food- I NEVER go anywhere without water! What the hell kind of place is this?! I left after an hour to go to my car to drink and eat for a little while.

I had a good time meeting people and talking about what I have done, why they are there, it was a new experience for me.

Men finished, then came bikini. I have friends who compete in bikini, but I just cannot stomach it. I think that the attitude, the look, the “show” that is wanted is sleazy and sad. I think that the women who compete have worked so hard, only to end up looking cheap and silly. Bikini has probably lowered the public’s opinion of “Bodybuilding” and honestly, the opinion was pretty low to start with anyway.

Most of the women looked painfully thin with huge, out of proportion, fake, hard, round “breasts” and they posed in a manner that was rather demeaning in my opinion. Most of the women haven’t trained, they have dieted, and that’s about it. And had surgery. It is a sad, sad state of affairs when this is the standard. Thank god I don’t have a daughter; I would be so afraid of what the world’s expectations of her would be!

The show went on and on, longer than I had expected. I couldn’t stay- I had promised David, I saw Maria, I had to leave and Figure had only started.

I felt a twinge- this was the first year that they had a 50 and over class at Contra Costa- I would have won hands down. I felt left out, I felt cheated.

Many thoughts ran through my head as I watched- remember this was new- I had always been a competitor, never a spectator.  What had always appeared to me as fit, beautiful, toned and strong, suddenly looked cheap, tacky, old and tawdry.

Did it all look different because of my vantage point?

Or did it all look different because of my mind set?

I think a little of both.

I walked out, early, telling myself that I would never, ever compete again. I didn’t like the look, the atmosphere; everyone looked overly “everything”. Too blond, too tan, too much make up, too tense, too glittery, just too, too much. I couldn't see all the hard work underneath all the glitter and glitz.

I haven't made any promises or plans, I am only telling you how I felt at the time, and I love the freedom of being able to change my mind whenever I please!

I struggled with the fact that as I sat in the audience, competitors came out to be with loved ones and I could hear them talk about their failures, their problems, and their shortcomings. They all said how they "should have done this"  or "should have done that", and few recognized what they did well. They had all worked so hard to get to the stage, yet few recognized that. They were all beating themselves up or battling the demons that wouldn't leave them alone, sucking the life from them, like the death eaters in the Harry Potter series.

Almost every single woman up on that stage has worked for years to be able to stand there, yet for so many of them, the experience would be humiliating, disappointing  sad and frustrating. They should all be celebrating their successes, the fact that they even had the balls to stand up there and strut their stuff in front of hundreds of strangers and many friends and family members. 

I drove home thinking how tacky it all looked, how could I have done this for years? Yet I still feel it was home to me. I feel in the middle of two worlds, I am pulled from two directions.

Once at home David and I drove out to Cupertino to go to the wine shop opening. Oysters, champagne, white wine, lots of sunshine, it was glorious!

David reminded me that I couldn’t do this if I was competing- I couldn’t stand in the sun and have a glass of sparkling wine and raw oysters. And for what?

I have a lot of plastic trophies, I am 50 years old. What do I want in life? I think I have it right here.

Oh- did you notice the beautiful early Mother’s Day gift?

½ carat diamond solitaire around my neck….