Confessions of a Recovering Clean Eater

Yes, I used to be a “clean eater” and am proud to say I no longer am. I used to smoke too, and when I realized I was slowly killing myself, I stopped.

The clean eating change was almost the same for me. Obviously “clean eating” wasn’t killing me, but it was killing my relationships with people and my passion for life.

What is “clean eating”? If you are reading this you have certainly heard the term before, but exactly how would you explain it to people? How would you define clean eating? I would like to hear your definition and why you feel that way.

My definition (back when I was a CE’er) was whole foods, nothing from a box, low fat and low carb. Six meals a day (gotta eat every 2.5 hours to keep the metabolism burning)! I ate the same old thing each time and “always carried my food”.

Most competitors I know define it as broccoli, asparagus, sweet potatoes, chicken breast,  tilapia, rice, (usually brown), and maybe 10 almonds. Six  or seven times a day, every day for weeks or even months on end. And not much food either.  Many people think that it is the only way to get lean. Of course most of the same people spend hours and hours a week doing cardio, and even worse “fasted cardio”. Yup, starve themselves then try to exercise, often to the point of exhaustion.

Of course you can get lean like that! You are severely restricting calories, controlling the food like a Nazi guard and eating the same stuff over and over so you get sick of it and would not even consider over eating.

You start chewing with your front teeth only because all you want to do is chew and swallow, you are sick of the stuff you are putting in your mouth and don’t want to really even taste it! I remember each competition when I got to that stage it was mind over matter, I wanted real food and had to choke down the same old dry crap meal after meal!

We all want to look good. And for competitors that desire is even more ingrained in our day to day lives. We NEED to look good all the time, when we go off our competition diets and look like a “normal” person, we feel fat so we start eating like we are prepping again for a competition, even though we aren’t. It’s a sick and viscous circle that we put ourselves through.

At some point I took a long look at my life and those around me, whom I love very much. My family, my friends. I no longer ate many meals with my family, or if I did, it was cold chicken out of a plastic bag. I didn’t go to many social functions as it was too much eating and drinking, I really didn’t want to be around it.

I knew there was a better way, there had to be. Life is not meant to be lived in purgatory, it’s meant to be enjoyed.

If you have read my last few posts you know I started working with Dr. Layne Norton for my nutrition and now he is doing my training programming also (only because Roy closed his gym, and that’s a whole other story!).

The change was scary at first. We all see the “IIFYM” (If It Fits Your Macros) people, they love to show all the ridiculously unhealthy looking recipes they concoct with fat free this and low cal that. It’s frightening when you come from the belief that there are many “bad” foods out there!

Unlike what most traditional bodybuilder/competitors believe, those of us who follow “flexible dieting” do not all eat crap, at least not all the time.  I rarely eat packaged foods, although I eat a lot more than I used to.

It took me a long time to actually believe that “a carb is a carb”. Seriously! I did as I was instructed, and at every weekly check in would ask things like “Is sourdough bread ok?” “May I eat mangoes?” Doesn’t that sound ridiculous?! He would laugh and say “Of course!”

As of this writing, I have had exactly 6 pop tarts! (in a six month span of working with Layne). And…. I LIKE pop tarts now! You see, a carb is a carb and if you tell me that my body knows the difference between a piece of whole wheat toast and a pop tart and will build muscle accordingly (or gain fat), I will tell you to show me proof. Show me a study. I am not going to rely on a steroid taking old school bodybuilder who insists that is true “just because it’s always been done that way”.

One large slice of whole wheat toast has the same (actually a bit more) carbohydrate than one pop tart. I am eating 310 grams of carbohydrate a day, which means I eat 108.5 grams pre training! Sometimes I don’t want three pieces of toast, so I have two pieces and a pop tart (along with yams, raspberry & dark chocolate Greek yogurt and whey protein).

I tend to eat whey to fill in missing protein now. I like whole food best and as much as I can get.

No foods are off limits, but I have learned that there are some that are much more calorie dense than others, and I have also learned that if I want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, it means on very low carb bread and not pre or post training, the meal timing is crucial as I am working to maintain a very low bodyfat while adding muscle.

I don’t eat “cheat meals”, there is no need as I can eat anything I want, as long as I stick to my macro nutrient ratios, meal timing and calories. If I want a glass of wine, I have one, but it means less food that day (the food wins 99% of the time).

I also eat fewer meals. I eat five meals Monday through Thursday and only four on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It allows me to have larger portions when I have fewer meals, I sometimes go 5 hours between a meal, I have not lost a leg, all my muscle or died, I look good. And I have muscle, believe me.

My favorite dinner is a cheddar cheese omelet (real, full fat cheese and egg whites) with mushrooms and broccoli raab, all cooked in a small amount of raw butter and garlic sourdough toast. I frequently eat 2 pound salads made of mixed cooked vegetables, hard cooked eggs and chicken breast, all tossed with fresh lemon and tahini sauce, followed by a crisp apple and almond butter

I tend to eat meals that are very filling, so lots of vegetables and leaner meats then I add tahini sauce or almond butter or avocado for fat. I can eat the fattier meats but then I cannot have the almond butter! Decisions, decisions!

People are willing to try everything it seems. Many eat “gluten free” even though they do not have celiac disease; thousands follow a Paleo diet when there is no reason to believe we should eat like cavemen ; there are vegetarians, vegans, dairy free, fish free, you name it there is a diet! They all work for one reason- calorie restriction. BOOM! You cut a major food group out of your diet, or decide you can only eat a few things and you are controlling portion right there.

If people want to be “clean eaters” I support them for attempting to live a healthy life and take control of their nutrition, but I do want to express that there are other ways and other diets that work just as well. People become very passionate about what they strongly believe in, often to the point that they lash out at others who disagree. There is no need for “diet wars”, we should all be free to choose our own method to our madness; however, I hate seeing poor misguided young women (and it’s usually women), fall into the belief that the unhealthy starvation and excess cardio routine is the way to go. These same women are the ones who live “cheat meal” to “cheat meal” and often binge.

Do I think you are less a person for following a clean eating diet? No, not at all. Nor do I think I am superior, I too followed it for many years and swore it was the only way. But in life, we learn as we progress. Change is never easy, and if you don’t want to change, it is even more difficult. When you are ready for a change, when you are no longer happy with the way your life is, you may take a peek and see how the other side lives, the side I am on. Yes, the grass is greener over here!

It’s been almost six months now; I actually just entered into an agreement with Layne for training and nutritional coaching for another year and a half. I was planning a May 10 competition, but I have gotten so lean, that he is encouraging me to do a competition a month earlier, he said I won’t need to diet long and it shouldn’t be difficult.

Did I mention I have lost 10 pounds doing this? Yes, I went from eating 1550 calories a day and weighed 131 pounds in August, to eating 2510 calories a day and I weigh 121 pounds. I am lean and ripped, and I am doing cardio two times a week, for a total of 24 minutes each time (that is including the 5 minute warm up and 5 minute cool down).

Eating this way, reverse dieting (adding calories slowly, the opposite of dieting where you subtract calories) and following a flexible diet have been one of the most challenging things I have ever done, but one of the most rewarding. It’s been six months of daily calculations of every single thing I eat and drink, preparing way ahead, and reviewing restaurant menus before stepping foot into the restaurant. But my body has responded well. I am muscular, very lean, strong, physically and, more importantly, emotionally healthy. I do not feel deprived at all, I feel liberated actually. I am not worried about how I look constantly, or worried that I will “blow up” from eating a certain food. I am no longer bound by the self imposed chains that held me so long.

My Diet

I have mentioned several times how I have changed my diet. I thought I would explain a bit of what I have done.

I weigh my food year round, at least the protein and the starches. I don't weigh vegetables as you can eat as many of those as you like, provided you don't mistake one of the starchy vegetables which for diet purposes are considered "starches" for a "vegetable" (that would be things such as peas, corn, winter squashes).

So, I am always adhering to some "diet" although I relax it quite a bit when I am not in the cutting phase. I believe that this makes me more successful when I do need to drop the body fat as I never let myself get overweight, and I don't pig out for months at a time.

I have been reading some books that have inspired me to make a few changes, very slight ones and that is all I need as my diet is fairly dialed in year round anyway. I don't pack on 20 extra pounds in the winter just to have to lose it in the spring, I don't believe in that, and not many people do any longer, research has proven it is not necessary to gain a great deal of excess fat just to gain lean mass. If you eat properly, you will gain properly.

Here is an example of my lunch (meal #3) on Sunday:  3 ounces black beans, 1 cup mushrooms, one cup oven roasted cauliflower (with paprika), 1/2 cup Brussels sprouts and 4 ounces thin chicken breast with Mrs. Dash and some lemon. Very satisfying and filling! I eat a lot!

So what I have done is simple, following my past successes I have reduced my starches on meal 3 and 4 each by one ounce, and on meal 5 all together. 

I have replaced the starches in meal 5 with kabocha squash, or one extra cup of vegetables. I like kabocha squash as it is satisfying like a yam or potato, but without the carbs!

1 cup has 30 calories and 7 grams carbs, whereas if you had butternut squash you would be eating 82 calories and 22 grams of carbs!

I have also increased my overall vegetable intake by about 1/2 to 1 cup more at each meal, which means I am eating 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 cups of vegetables at a time. So - decreased starchy carbs, increased fiberous carbs.

I am not so hungry, I am getting carbs through vegetables but not the starchy variety that tends to be stored as fat.

I have also stopped eating brown rice, replacing it with beans or lentils. I have eaten rice on occasion, but not everyday as in the past.

In addition, I am eating 3 to 5 raw nuts (almond, cashew or macadamia) or 2 tsp oil (olive, flax, Udo's, CLA) prior to or with each each meal containing starch.

I am eating the nuts/oil just prior to each meal to reduce the insulin response for the meal. Eating the nuts or oils will help control the rate of entry of glucose into the bloodstream. So slower entry, less insulin is produced.

The reason why you do not want a rapid rise of insulin is it will cause too much glucose to be taken up by the cells, which results in low blood sugar, which in turn stimulates the appetite for more food!

I have also continued having a post training carb and protein drink, although it isn't a huge one like I might have when not cutting fat. I think this has helped me to hold onto the muscle and still look full and round, while losing the overall bodyfat. I don't have much more to lose, maybe 3 or 4 pounds at the most. It's hard to tell until I see it, but I will stick to the diet, and I won't be doing an insane amount of cardio, as I don't need to, I don't have a lot of fat to try to lose.

My post training drink has 26 grams carbs in it, I will probably stop that about 4 weeks out, and right there I should start to lose and tighten up more.

One week of my diet

 

I started to "clean up" my diet a week ago. If you read my post, you would know that I am starting a little early, because I will be vacationing in Mexico where there are mandatory margaritas attached to the chaise lounge in front of my hotel room.

Here I am after one week, now please keep in mind I just got back from the gym and am standing in front of my refrigerator!

I have lost one pound, I am at 126. I think that's a good rate for me to lose at. I haven't increased any cardio, and haven't reduced calories, I just stopped my snacks and bites here and there. Oh, and no more rice cakes with peanut butter...darn!

I didn't gain a great deal of weight over the last few months, and it's all basically right there in my stomach area, but even that looks better than it did last week, let's do a side by side comparison.























Well, the only thing I can honestly see in these is that the "v" cut running down the sides of my stomach is getting more pronounced, but that means the fat is reduced.

I will keep up with the same routine this week, and see how I am doing, I would like to avoid having to add in more cardio yet, as it will only need to increase later.

I am also a natural 'ectomorph", I find it hard to gain lean muscle mass, yet at the same time, I remain relatively thin year round and don't have to worry about gaining a lot of fat.

This means I must be careful so I don't lose too much near the end, and look emaciated.

I always find the transformation part of this so exciting. I love it when I gain and look more muscular, but when I start to lose, a whole new body emerges and I have a feeling of power.


Each day I become more and more focused, things just operate like clockwork. No thinking, it's a well known drill, it's habit.

My body starts to get lean and tight, I can feel the difference daily. I feel like an animal almost, instead of walking I feel like I am silently gliding through the forest, only my eyes moving as I take in the world around me.

I am in my own world, doing what I need to stay alive, to exist, to reach my goal. No one can get in my way, no one can stop me. I am one with myself.

Cleaning up the diet

I started my "diet" on Monday, here I am on Tuesday. I am at 127 pounds and in my opinion, not carrying a great deal of fat. As you can see, my stomach is where it all is, and I have no problems with my hips or thighs, its all right there in the tummy.

I have to lose body fat for a May 7 competition.

I compete anywhere from 118 to 120 pounds, it all depends on how much lean body mass I have. I really worked hard this past winter to add muscle and keep off the fat, I think I did a really good job, but it won't really be evident until I drop down to about 4% body fat, where I get at competition time.

I get unusually low body fat, and yes, it has been verified with calipers and hydrostatic testing.
I have some friends who have gained quite a bit. They will have a harder time losing it. There was a time the school of thought was to "bulk up" and pack on all you can. Some people still hold on to this, but many have proven that you can successfully add mass and not a great deal of fat if you eat properly.

To gain muscle you need to ingest more calories than you expend. That's how you gain fat too. So how do you ensure you gain muscle and not a great deal of fat? You eat the right foods, not a bunch of crap. You also need to figure out how many calories you are expending and then eat more, don't just guess and keep loading up your plate!


Typically a competitor will start their diet 12 weeks out, that gives them time to slowly lose the fat at a safe rate to keep the skin tight and elastic and maintain muscle. Lose too fast and your skin gets saggy and loose, and the muscle drops off with the fat.

I am starting a bit early because I will be in Mexico on vacation for a week, and I am not sure if it will totally trash my preparation or not. I certainly don't plan to diet on vacation, but I will eat healthy as I do year round anyway.

I figure if I start a bit early, maybe vacation won't set me back too far.

So what do I mean by "cleaning up my diet"?

I stick to a good, clean diet year round. When I am not purposely eating to lose body fat (what most competitors like to refer to as the off-season. I don't care for that term, makes me think of a dog in heat), I will eat some things that I wouldn't normally, but not many.

For instance, when my son and husband have ribs, I will have a couple bites. When they are eating chips I might snag a couple as I walk by. I will eat bagels after training, and sandwiches occasionally.

I will eat some fruit, and a glass of wine on weekends.

But now, I won't do any of that. I will stop snagging bites and won't drink any alcohol. Bye bye fruit and bread.

I will adhere to my regular diet and portions, so it's the same thing basically without all the snacks in between. And that will make me drop body fat fairly quickly.

I will start doing a bit more cardio, but never much. For instance, today I walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes, it was all the time I had. If I can drop the fat without a lot of extra cardio, I will.

I still run my stairs and jump rope at lunch, but that is only 20 minutes and is necessary for my sanity, it's about the only time I get out of the office!

I will keep you posted with progress, you can count on me to have more pictures!