Drugs, clean eating and competitors

I need to clarify my last post. my sister asked me if I used to take performance enhancing drugs when I competed, she thought that is what I was saying in my previous post.

No, I did not take drugs.

I did, however, waste many years "eating clean" so I could be as lean as possible year round. 

My post combined them both because based on my experience, it is mainly the folks taking the drugs that are always pushing the "clean eating". Sounds a bit wonky doesn't it? Eat only fresh, healthy, low fat, low carb, no sugar foods and also take substances that are not approved for humans, or in the case of many of the drugs, approved for actual illnesses or conditions that these people don't have. These are the same people who are not drinking water "cutting' before a competition and taking diuretics, an extremely dangerous practice. In fact, in the last year an astounding number of young bodybuilders have died, and it's attributed to their drug and diuretic regime.

So the phrase "eat clean, train dirty" which is very well known in the bodybuilding industry and used all the time actually refers to that. Follow a clean diet and take drugs and you will succeed. I wanted to promote the opposite - "eat dirty, train clean" which means eat like a normal person and train hard, consistently and drug free.

I could write about this for days, there is so much to say. I do not have respect for those who chose to take drugs, and mainly that is because they won't come out and say they do. They want everyone to believe that  their physique is all due to the hard work they put in, and the strict diet they follow. So a regular gym goer who also starts lifting regularly and consistently, and changes their diet feels like a failure because they don't look like that trainer in the gym. Obviously they cannot admit it since what they are doing is also illegal. 

Competitions encourage drug use, unless of course you are in the natural organizations (but even those have cheaters who get caught taking drugs). Bodies cannot grow as freaky big, muscular, lean, and "3-D" as the promoters want unless those bodies are taking drugs. Of course there are genetic freaks and outliers who do not need the drugs, but they are far and few between.

The lifestyle of a competitor also encourages body dysmorphia, eating disorders, disordered eating, and a slew of unhealthy food relationships. 

When I started on my "journey", it was one that started years of dieting. Hell I looked fabulous, but I also ate very low calories, stayed away from anything that had high fat content, alcohol, candy, fatty meats, breads, etc.

It all changed once I learned how to manage my calories by understanding nutrition, how many calories different foods have, how much fiber I needed, how I could incorporate anything I wanted.

I stopped competing for many reasons, but it mainly boils down to the fact that it is an extremely unhealthy lifestyle (emotionally and physically), even if you are drug free. 

Several years ago I took a few trips to Europe and hauled all my weight training equipment with me: squat shoes, weight belt, gloves, wraps, deadlift shoes, clothes, water bottles, pre and post workout powders, etc. I would get up very early to train before anyone else was awake, and therefor go to bed very early. This was not exercising, it was an obsession and it was not fair to my family. On holidays I would find a place to train, even while everyone else was hanging out at home in their sweats having fun. But this is what the lifestyle will do to you.

I used to stay so lean, I was never more than 4 or 5 pounds over competition weight. My body never had a chance to recover between competitions. Again, this is not a healthy way to live.

Now, I am back cooking up a storm (my first passion) and while I do make sure I only eat a certain number of calories, I often go over those calories. I don't worry about what I eat on holidays, dinners out or vacation. I just went to Spain for 19 days and didn't train once!! I am a good 10 pounds over competition weight, I look great, but guess what? I still think I should be leaner.....and that's what competing will do to your brain. I know I look fine, but I walk by a mirror and think "well if I only lost 5 or 10 pounds....". I am working on it, I know someday I won't be worried that I don't look competition ready, but it will take some time.

Below I am fresh out of the shower drinking my favorite cocktail an Aviation.

For now, I encourage everyone to not consider a competition, or if you must, seek out one of the natural organizations (and ask me or others if you are unsure about the different organizations). learn about nutrition so you can eat like a regular person! I am drinking a glass of wine as I write this....Find an exercise routine that you love: cardio kickboxing, running, peloton, cycling, or weight training. If you choose weight training then find a program that you can follow (this is a must). There are many out there that cost less than $15.00 a month but they will keep you focused, learning, on track and motivated.

If you choose to work with a trainer or coach and they give you a written plan of actual foods and amounts to eat, run as far away from them as possible (ask me questions if you don't understand why).

We are only here for this one life (as far as I believe) and it should not be lived in deprivation, starvation, and angst (unless you are a nun). 

My blog will be about how I have been able to continue training consistently, stop eating clean and enjoying a normal diet, and how my emotional and physical being has changed while doing this.

P.S. Thanks sis!

Train Clean, Eat Dirty

I am back! After a 6 year hiatus I have decided to resurrect my blog and share the myriad changes I have been through. For those who did not follow me years ago, I wrote a daily blog on dieting, eating clean, competing, training, and managing to stay lean and on track while working full time and raising a family. 

I found this draft below from 2015 and threw a recent photo from yesterday up with it. It was back in 2015 that I started moving away from "clean eating" which had consumed so much of my life for so many years. Here I am in my new home gym (well a year and a half old). I have a lot to say. It won't be daily any longer but it will be interesting. 

and on to the post....

No, I did not get that backwards. yes, I know you usually see it "Eat Clean, Train Dirty", but I don't believe in that.  What does that mean (to me) anyway?

   Eat Clean, Train Dirty

Eat Clean:

Consume the same old "clean" foods over and over until sick to death of them. Chicken breast, brown rice, asparagus, almonds, broccoli and tilapia. Deprive yourself of every human desire for anything salty, fatty, sweet, gooey, sticky, crunchy or just plain mouth-watering-delicious.

All.....The....Time.....

Train Dirty:

Ingest drugs, many not intended for humans, most intended for clinical or therapeutic reasons (as opposed to building muscle, shedding fat). Not interested in health, only in achieving a certain look.

Eat Dirty, Train Clean 

Eat Dirty:

Consume any foods, anything that makes me smile and feel good about life. Mostly things like cheese, garlic, almond butter, fruit, breads, butter, lamb, beef, pork, vegetables, salt, sugar, cereal, white rice, sauces, whole eggs, bagels, chocolates. Live like a normal person.


Train Clean:

Train and maintain my body naturally, without drugs. Strive to be healthy and strong, while looking awesome at the same time.

Choose which one you prefer, I know what I want!

As an update to this post - someone asked me if I used to take drugs, PED's, diuretics, etc. The answer is no, absolutely not. I actually stopped competing due to the widespread use of drugs in the sport. What I did do is "eat clean" for many, many years. My comparison above was mainly due to the fact that you will see so many "clean eaters" but they are also pumping their bodies full of dangerous drugs specifically so they look better. There is no concern about health, only how they look. I will have a future post regarding this soon! In the mean time, work hard, and enjoy the food!

Confessions of a Recovering Clean Eater

Yes, I used to be a “clean eater” and am proud to say I no longer am. I used to smoke too, and when I realized I was slowly killing myself, I stopped.

The clean eating change was almost the same for me. Obviously “clean eating” wasn’t killing me, but it was killing my relationships with people and my passion for life.

What is “clean eating”? If you are reading this you have certainly heard the term before, but exactly how would you explain it to people? How would you define clean eating? I would like to hear your definition and why you feel that way.

My definition (back when I was a CE’er) was whole foods, nothing from a box, low fat and low carb. Six meals a day (gotta eat every 2.5 hours to keep the metabolism burning)! I ate the same old thing each time and “always carried my food”.

Most competitors I know define it as broccoli, asparagus, sweet potatoes, chicken breast,  tilapia, rice, (usually brown), and maybe 10 almonds. Six  or seven times a day, every day for weeks or even months on end. And not much food either.  Many people think that it is the only way to get lean. Of course most of the same people spend hours and hours a week doing cardio, and even worse “fasted cardio”. Yup, starve themselves then try to exercise, often to the point of exhaustion.

Of course you can get lean like that! You are severely restricting calories, controlling the food like a Nazi guard and eating the same stuff over and over so you get sick of it and would not even consider over eating.

You start chewing with your front teeth only because all you want to do is chew and swallow, you are sick of the stuff you are putting in your mouth and don’t want to really even taste it! I remember each competition when I got to that stage it was mind over matter, I wanted real food and had to choke down the same old dry crap meal after meal!

We all want to look good. And for competitors that desire is even more ingrained in our day to day lives. We NEED to look good all the time, when we go off our competition diets and look like a “normal” person, we feel fat so we start eating like we are prepping again for a competition, even though we aren’t. It’s a sick and viscous circle that we put ourselves through.

At some point I took a long look at my life and those around me, whom I love very much. My family, my friends. I no longer ate many meals with my family, or if I did, it was cold chicken out of a plastic bag. I didn’t go to many social functions as it was too much eating and drinking, I really didn’t want to be around it.

I knew there was a better way, there had to be. Life is not meant to be lived in purgatory, it’s meant to be enjoyed.

If you have read my last few posts you know I started working with Dr. Layne Norton for my nutrition and now he is doing my training programming also (only because Roy closed his gym, and that’s a whole other story!).

The change was scary at first. We all see the “IIFYM” (If It Fits Your Macros) people, they love to show all the ridiculously unhealthy looking recipes they concoct with fat free this and low cal that. It’s frightening when you come from the belief that there are many “bad” foods out there!

Unlike what most traditional bodybuilder/competitors believe, those of us who follow “flexible dieting” do not all eat crap, at least not all the time.  I rarely eat packaged foods, although I eat a lot more than I used to.

It took me a long time to actually believe that “a carb is a carb”. Seriously! I did as I was instructed, and at every weekly check in would ask things like “Is sourdough bread ok?” “May I eat mangoes?” Doesn’t that sound ridiculous?! He would laugh and say “Of course!”

As of this writing, I have had exactly 6 pop tarts! (in a six month span of working with Layne). And…. I LIKE pop tarts now! You see, a carb is a carb and if you tell me that my body knows the difference between a piece of whole wheat toast and a pop tart and will build muscle accordingly (or gain fat), I will tell you to show me proof. Show me a study. I am not going to rely on a steroid taking old school bodybuilder who insists that is true “just because it’s always been done that way”.

One large slice of whole wheat toast has the same (actually a bit more) carbohydrate than one pop tart. I am eating 310 grams of carbohydrate a day, which means I eat 108.5 grams pre training! Sometimes I don’t want three pieces of toast, so I have two pieces and a pop tart (along with yams, raspberry & dark chocolate Greek yogurt and whey protein).

I tend to eat whey to fill in missing protein now. I like whole food best and as much as I can get.

No foods are off limits, but I have learned that there are some that are much more calorie dense than others, and I have also learned that if I want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, it means on very low carb bread and not pre or post training, the meal timing is crucial as I am working to maintain a very low bodyfat while adding muscle.

I don’t eat “cheat meals”, there is no need as I can eat anything I want, as long as I stick to my macro nutrient ratios, meal timing and calories. If I want a glass of wine, I have one, but it means less food that day (the food wins 99% of the time).

I also eat fewer meals. I eat five meals Monday through Thursday and only four on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It allows me to have larger portions when I have fewer meals, I sometimes go 5 hours between a meal, I have not lost a leg, all my muscle or died, I look good. And I have muscle, believe me.

My favorite dinner is a cheddar cheese omelet (real, full fat cheese and egg whites) with mushrooms and broccoli raab, all cooked in a small amount of raw butter and garlic sourdough toast. I frequently eat 2 pound salads made of mixed cooked vegetables, hard cooked eggs and chicken breast, all tossed with fresh lemon and tahini sauce, followed by a crisp apple and almond butter

I tend to eat meals that are very filling, so lots of vegetables and leaner meats then I add tahini sauce or almond butter or avocado for fat. I can eat the fattier meats but then I cannot have the almond butter! Decisions, decisions!

People are willing to try everything it seems. Many eat “gluten free” even though they do not have celiac disease; thousands follow a Paleo diet when there is no reason to believe we should eat like cavemen ; there are vegetarians, vegans, dairy free, fish free, you name it there is a diet! They all work for one reason- calorie restriction. BOOM! You cut a major food group out of your diet, or decide you can only eat a few things and you are controlling portion right there.

If people want to be “clean eaters” I support them for attempting to live a healthy life and take control of their nutrition, but I do want to express that there are other ways and other diets that work just as well. People become very passionate about what they strongly believe in, often to the point that they lash out at others who disagree. There is no need for “diet wars”, we should all be free to choose our own method to our madness; however, I hate seeing poor misguided young women (and it’s usually women), fall into the belief that the unhealthy starvation and excess cardio routine is the way to go. These same women are the ones who live “cheat meal” to “cheat meal” and often binge.

Do I think you are less a person for following a clean eating diet? No, not at all. Nor do I think I am superior, I too followed it for many years and swore it was the only way. But in life, we learn as we progress. Change is never easy, and if you don’t want to change, it is even more difficult. When you are ready for a change, when you are no longer happy with the way your life is, you may take a peek and see how the other side lives, the side I am on. Yes, the grass is greener over here!

It’s been almost six months now; I actually just entered into an agreement with Layne for training and nutritional coaching for another year and a half. I was planning a May 10 competition, but I have gotten so lean, that he is encouraging me to do a competition a month earlier, he said I won’t need to diet long and it shouldn’t be difficult.

Did I mention I have lost 10 pounds doing this? Yes, I went from eating 1550 calories a day and weighed 131 pounds in August, to eating 2510 calories a day and I weigh 121 pounds. I am lean and ripped, and I am doing cardio two times a week, for a total of 24 minutes each time (that is including the 5 minute warm up and 5 minute cool down).

Eating this way, reverse dieting (adding calories slowly, the opposite of dieting where you subtract calories) and following a flexible diet have been one of the most challenging things I have ever done, but one of the most rewarding. It’s been six months of daily calculations of every single thing I eat and drink, preparing way ahead, and reviewing restaurant menus before stepping foot into the restaurant. But my body has responded well. I am muscular, very lean, strong, physically and, more importantly, emotionally healthy. I do not feel deprived at all, I feel liberated actually. I am not worried about how I look constantly, or worried that I will “blow up” from eating a certain food. I am no longer bound by the self imposed chains that held me so long.

Decisions

Decisions, decisions, we must face them everyday. Some are easier than others, like "the red shirt or the yellow shirt", or perhaps "toast or muffin"? Then there are the tough ones, the ones that cause internal stress.


Like "I want to be lean and ripped  or I want to drink wine and eat lasagna every night". These thoughts actually do run through my head, quite a bit. 


Now I am exaggerating (I tend to do that quite a bit), I really have no desire to drink wine every night as it interferes with my sleep and I just cannot attack the weights at 5:00 am if I do. And although I do enjoy lasagna quite a bit, every night is just too much, but I think you get my point.


My  body here is fairly closed to being "ripped", super low bodyfat, vascular, and all muscles, just the way I love it. But it isn't easy getting here, nor is it particularly "fun" and lord knows STAYING here is very difficult.


I made a decision to eat the correct foods, at the right time, and lifted the weights it required and put in the cardio time to burn extra calories. It took a lot of work. What I miss mostly is the wonderful food. 


Once my competition is over (in 16 days as I write this on Friday night), I am faced with another decision. Do I keep doing this, do I completely revert to sloth like eating habits (not that I ever had those), or do I enjoy a little and still strive for a fit body?


The choice is really easy for me actually, I am more interested in health than anything so I tend to eat very well; healthy choices are the norm, and I don't drink much because I love weight training more. But I will enjoy life and the fantastic foods that I have missed, and I will not look like this a few weeks later, simple as that. Don't get me wrong, I will still look great- but not "ripped".


I know that I cannot have both so I make the decision that will make me and my family happiest in the long run.


I talk with a lot of people who want to know how to achieve the "ripped" look, how to lower bodyfat, how to look amazing. And they want to drink and eat everything as usual too.


The answer is simple, but you alone need to make the decision. You cannot have both. Period. Ripped: You must eat properly and it needs to be consistant. Not Ripped: eat whatever you like with that beer.


I actually talk with people at parties or social gatherings and they are holding a cocktail in one hand, chips in the other and they tell me how healthy they eat, they don't understand why they cannot drop those last 10 pounds. And me, being the outspoken individual I am, point to their drink and food and tell them "that is why you canot lose the weight". Typically they say this is not "normal", this is a "special occasion" or "I had a super stressful day". 


We go back and forth about it, they typically offer more excuses, I sip on the liter bottle of water I brought with me. 


I am not being holier-than thou, and I do have wine on occasion, but I am trying to make a  point. Look at your typical weekend, what aren your typical meals?  Do you snack? Do you exercise regularly? Are you consistant?


I like the 90% rule. If you can choose to live "clean" 90% of the time, and that means proper food, no alcohol and regular, strenuous exercise), that leaves 10% to enjoy life's indulgences, and you can still look pretty darn good.


Ultimately, it's your decision though.