Size, Perceptions and Self Acceptance

My son came home from college this past weekend, the first time we have seen him in 5 weeks. It was great to see him but also hectic, we had a lot to fit in, he was sick and needed to go to urgent care for anti-biotics and of course, he had to spend time with friends too.

Sunday morning I slept in as usual and then went to Gold's to train my back, I love Sundays I can usually spend all the time I want to and it's never crowded, everyone seems to take Sundays off. This Sunday I had an appointment at 9:00 so I was under a bit of a time constraint, but I fit most everything in.

My Sundays take so long because of all of my chin ups - It takes me about 45 minutes just for those!

It's also harvest so David had to pick the grapes from the yard without me and then after I got home, we loaded them into Moby to take to Jay's for crushing. No one had much time for cooking, eating or anything. Once Cooper left at 1:00 we still had more to do, so we ended up going out for a very early dinner (lunch for David) at The Table in Willow Glen.

We arrived early, they weren't open yet so we wandered down the street and David slipped into a restaurant to use the bathroom. I stayed outside and was waiting and I hear a "hey you, come here and give me a hug!" I turn around and there, holding open the restaurant door is Mark Baz, my very first trainer! 

I went over and gave him a hug, I hadn't seen him in years and he led me inside to meet his girlfriend who was sitting at their table by the window. 

We chatted for a while about what was going on with our kids (he and I have boys the same age), about our current lives and things in general. He told Kyra about how we met, and when he first met me I couldn't lift a 15 pound dumbbell, then he said he got me up to 65 pounds, and he was right, I had forgotten! Here is a picture taken many, many years ago when I trained with him.

Kyra wanted to know how I got arms like mine. I said "lifting lots of heavy weights!" We talked about what we were doing and I mentioned my hamstring injury, and I got up to demonstrate a Romanian Deadlift. I sat down and Kyra said "wait- stand up and turn around!" I did and she pointed to my butt. "That's what I want, how do you get that?!" I laughed and told her that I had asked Roy just yesterday when my butt blew up like it is now- it all of a sudden got big and round. Like BIG. Roy said he had noticed it Friday himself. I mean it's BIG, it almost requires it's own zip code.

Then Baz told Kyra a story that I had forgotten from so long ago. He said that I had always demonstrated "the pencil test". If you could take a pencil and place it under your butt cheek, above your hamstring (the glute/hamstring tie in) and it stayed there, you were fat. Your butt fat should not hold up the pencil! I tried this when I got home, the pencil fell immediately to the ground. 

I laughed, I had forgotten about this and told him it was like to the towel test for men. 

We left and went to dinner and as we sat at the table I told David that it was odd. When I am at the gym, I really don't get a second glance, except maybe from people who don't come there often, but when I go out say to a restaurant, people stare at me, why?

He said I am a freak! He said no normal person looks like me. I know he is not trying to hurt my feelings at all, he is just trying to get me to see myself the way others do. They see a freak, Seriously...I told him I am not big, I don't look like a bodybuilder, but he said to a regular person, I do! I look like a bodybuilder! 

It bothers me and it doesn't, I suppose it depends on my mood and what's going on. The more I thought about it, the more I realized why I am so comfortable in the gym, you see, I belong there, I am with people like myself.

Obviously we are all different, but we have similar goals and aspirations, we want to improve our bodies, our health and it means a lot to us. We take the time necessary to actually get up off the couch and go to the gym; we make an effort to eat healthy foods instead of the easy and somewhat tasty garbage.

And I realized for the first time that this is one reason why I enjoy competing, I am with people just like myself.  Don’t misunderstand me, I embrace diversity, I enjoy people of all different walks of life, but I also like being around “my own kind”, fellow competitors.

I understand that many people are curious and they cannot help but stare at others who appear different, so although I don’t feel out of place out in public, I do feel the stares, and sometimes it is annoying and I wish they would stop, I am not a freak in a freak show.

The other morning I as reading Facebook posts and Bret Contreras posted this video, and it all clicked.  At one point in my adult, weight training life I felt like the little girl dressed as the Bumblebee, but now, I am finally with other Bumblebees, it’s a happy and joyous feeling.

Email subscribers will need to navigate directly to the blog to view this video.

Cardio

Goals- it's all about your goals. If you just go to the gym without a specific goal in mind, you may not necessarily be "wasting" your time, but you certainly are not maximizing your efforts. 


What are you doing there? Killing time? Socializing? Reading? Watching TV? 


Why are you there? Meet people? Lose weight? Lose fat? Gain muscle? aha! These all require different things!


Please...please...please! Really think about what you want out of your time in the gym. Every goal is possible- no matter where you "are" in your current fitness state, but you have to put the time and effort into it. It won't be easy, it may not always be pleasant, kind of like pregnancy and childbirth, you will forget the pain and delight in the rewards for years to come.


I am finishing up my current program with Roy and in a week we move onto some new things, I get so excited when I know we will change my training. We are moving from heavy weights and long rest periods to lighter weights and shorter rest periods, all designed for greater hypertrophy. I'm all about hypertrophy!


Now this does not mean that to gain mass you should always train this way, on the contrary, you should never train the same way day in and day out. Just look around you at all those people doing the same thing ever single day. They look the same every single day don't they?  You need to change it up!


But back to goals. You should have specific goals and understand how to get there. What do you want to look like?  That is how you need to train then.


Do you want to have shape and full, strong looking muscles? Say...like me possibly? Then you have to lift, you have to lift heavy and frequently. Muscles only develop when forced to, they need to be challenged to grow.


Do you want to look thin, sort of like the models on the magazines? Personally I think it's a very unattractive look, but if you want to look like that, so you have very thin, shapeless arms, and you look emaciated, don't lift weights, just do endless cardio and starve yourself.


If you are not training for a specific sport, then the best idea is a combination of both. You need the weight training to develop shape and add strength, and the cardio is basically to burn some extra calories, it does not add any shape to your body. Of course everything has exceptions, and this is no different. There are certain types of "cardio" that will add shape, such as sprints. Those are explosive, high intensity exercises that will really develop the glutes, hamstrings and quads. No, your legs and glutes won't get huge!  No one's butt just "blows" up" from sprints or anything else for that matter. 


I talk to endless people at the gym who ask me what to do, how can they look like me? I tell them to lift weights yet I rarely see them doing that. What I don't understand is I tell them that I see them doing an hour of cardio, and that is not a good idea, they will remain thin and skinny looking forever if they do that, yet day after day that's what I see them doing. And they don't understand why they don't change.


Too many people, especially women believe cardio machines are the ticket to a beautiful body. And if you want to look like an anorexic movie star (and by the way- skinny is not attractive), then endless cardio is the ticket. But if you want to ride my train, it's heavy weights all the way!


If you have limited time in the gym and must choose- always choose the weights, always.

High on Life

I feel so good it should be illegal! I know it's because I have a new goal, and changes always excite me. The thrill of feeling like I am in total control of my future is a powerful and  exhilarating feeling.


If you are starting out, or feel like you are not getting anywhere, I urge you to assess what you are doing and make sure you have a specific and realistic goal. Then decide what tools you need to reach your goal and take action. 


I took Sunday off from training after my competition, and Monday had the day off work so I slept in then trained with Roy in the late afternoon. Dinner out with David and then a good night's sleep. 


Tuesday I was off work again but set the alarm for 4:00 am to get back on schedule, I like my routine. Shoulder's, my favorite body part to train!


I chatted with a couple folks who wanted to know how I did and I asked Sheri if she could talk with me after her workout- I had some questions for her.


I was training my rear delts when  one of the trainers looked at me all smiles "You are ripped! Absolutely shredded!!" He was excited, it made me excited. "Do you compete? Of course you compete, what am I thinking?!" 


We talked for a bit, introduced ourselves and discussed competing. He was at the show and said he thought he recognized me. He asked about Women's Physique, it was new to him and he loved it. Me too- I explained that was my new direction. He commented that I  would be perfect, I look right for the sport. The routine and dancing were fun and a great way to showcase a muscular physique. 


He gave me a high five and said "It's great to have people like you in the gym, welcome to Gold's! Next time let us know when you are competing so we can cheer you on!"


Later, Sheri and I talked about her trainer. Sheri used to compete in Bodybuilding, many years ago and still looks amazing. I explained about Women's Physique and told her I need to learn the mandatory poses, does her trainer teach posing? I have seen her with him, and he seems to know what he is doing and was a competitor for years, I looked him up.


I am not leaving Roy, not in a heartbeat. But I don't believe in the "all in one" trainer, it's not for me. 


Sure, there are people who "know it all" and can coach and lead you along, but since competing is not my  primary goal, I want a trainer who is trained in, and values functional training, someone who lives and breathes research and science,  strength and health.  Roy does that, he knows what he is doing in the weight room.  I don't mean to say other trainers do not, but I have a good thing, I am happy and am not changing. I am also a bit cautious about "all in one", sure it's easier to rely only on one person to tell you every single thing you need to do in life, but I like making my own decisions, being in charge of my own nutrition and am a bit skeptical of "a jack of all trades" if you know what I mean.


Bodybuilding, and the other branches of the sport (Figure, Physique) are not necessarily the best training for your body- the sport demands that muscles are developed for show, not necessarily strength and power. Muscle fibers are trained differently and develop differently. A bodybuilder may be big, but typically cannot out-lift a smaller, more compact guy or gal who has trained for strength.


I prefer to find a professional who excels at one thing, and learn from them. I have found that in Roy- he has taken my physique to a level I have tried to achieve for a long time, and I still see that I have not reached my full potential and am excited to continue on my journey.


Now, I am in need of learning the mandatory poses. That's it. A few lessons, then some practice and a few lessons more. Sheri's trainer may not be my guy, he may not be interested in a few lessons only, and then I keep looking, I'm not in a hurry.


I have my diet down, it works well. I am now plotting the slight adjustments I will make to add some mass and attempt to minimize the fat gain. I am still going to enjoy a few more days of fun and treats though, my body and mind deserve it.


I will be discussing my diet changes and of course updating you all on progress. Today, I stepped on the scale. 126 pounds. I was at 119 on Friday. No, I did not gain weight. My muscles are full of glycogen and I am retaining water. I added creatine back in, I am eating regular food and eating out, that's means lots of sodium when I had none before. Also, after a competition most people tend to "blow up" a bit- your body is primed for food, it soaks everything up like a sponge, so my cheesecake for breakfast is sitting all around my belly now! I'm OK, I have done this for years and know I will get tired of the treats in a day or two and my body will come back to normal. I do know many competitors who cannot stop though, and continue eating and eating, not adhering to a clean diet and several weeks later they have gained weight and enter into a sort of depression because they screwed up. Then, it's like starting all over again from scratch. I have worked too hard for that and I won't do it.


My weight will level out in a week or so, then I will start charting progress, now it would be unreliable.


Just what does a Women's Physique competitor look like and what does the routine consist of? Well just like every person is different, so is every competitor and their routine will showcase their own personality. Below is a video of Dana linn Bailey, the first woman to earn professional status as a Physique competitor, and has a physique I strive for. My routine will be to much faster music, but she does a great job here showcasing her muscles! (email readers will need to navigate to the blog to view this video).



I have a massage today with Rachael, my psoas is tight again, at least that's what Roy said. I was super tight in the front of my abdomen, and not able to extend back and up when doing a back extension, so he advised that she release it again. Its a painful but satisfying release....


Talk soon, and happy lifting!

Changes and Goals

I spent all day in my competition suit- it's not a bikini, it's a custom made velvet suit covered in crystals- and it isn't cheap. It's also tight, very tight. You can see how it wears away the spray tan where the straps were. 


I got home, and after midnight pulled my hair back, and got ready to wash all this make up and tan off, you can imagine how good a shower would feel huh?


Everything in my life goes is phases. each phase has a distinct goal, always. Ask me at any time in my life, on any day what I am up to and I will have an answer- I know where I am going and what I need to do to get there.


My goals always change once I reach the previous goal, so there is always a time allotted and an outcome expected.


I have a new goal and a change happening all at once.


First, the change.


I have been writing this blog everyday for over two years. I missed one week when I went on vacation in February. Although my reader survey overwhelming showed me that readers want to see this everyday, I am changing that. I will not be writing daily, I just cannot keep it up. 


I have a full time job, a family  and a demanding fitness regime. I try to blog about meaningful and interesting topics that will help people understand body re composition and diet, and incorporating it into their life. It's very time consuming though, and sometimes I feel stretched. If I were getting paid and making my living from it, that would be one thing, but I am not, I still have a job to pay the bills.


I anticipate that I will write three to five times a week.   I suggest that you send me a friend request on Facebook, "like" my athlete page on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, subscribe to email updates or in a reader. That way, you will never miss one post.


I also ask that you send comments and feedback so I know what you want. Most of you want to know about diet, nutrition and how to prepare easy and healthy meals. That is the toughest stuff to write about, but limiting my posts may allow me to write more about those things that interest you most. 


As always, I love to hear from you, keep the comments and mails coming and please share my blog with friends and family so my readership grows. 


Second, my goal.


Women's Physique.


Yes, I had thought about this about 8 months ago and decided it wasn't' for me, they looked too much like bodybuilders, I am not a bodybuilder and I don't care to look like one. 


Well, the look is changing as the division matures. Judges are now leaning toward a less muscular look, more like a bigger Figure competitor.  Figure is getting softer and less muscular- I have no intention of changing my look to be softer and less muscular to fit their criteria- I don't want to look like that.  I like my look, and my look seems to fit into Women's Physique. I think I have just gotten too muscular for Figure. I am waiting to hear what the head judge has to say, but that could take a few weeks.


I did promise David and Cooper no more competitions this summer, so I shall practice the mandatory moves, find some upbeat music I like and create a routine. I will practice like I am in a competition, and if I find that I like it, I will then diet down and enter one, date is to be determined later. 


I am really, really excited. I have loved dance since I was in high school and I can rock the stage, believe me!


And if it all works out, I shall have three pair of size 8 clear Lucite hooker heels- free to the first new Figure gals who nicely ask for them!


Until then, let me know what you want to learn about. 

Goals

What is it? What does it take? Why are some people successful while others are not? These are some questions that run through my head, and through others all the time. Who has the answers?


I think that we can all be successful, but success is determined by perception. 


Perception is reality.


What I think is success may not be what another person believes is success. 


My perceptions are not the same as other's perceptions.


My husband and my son say I have a skewed vision of what a person should look like, in other words, I am very hard on myself, I have very high expectations of myself and those around me. 


We all need to set our minds on a goal. It should be realistic and based on what we want, not what we think other people want, or what someone else wants. Many people spend their lives trying to live up to others expectations, why?


Just because I expect to have the physique of a woman half my age doesn't mean that everyone else around me should have the same expectations of themselves. Nor does it mean that I would be disappointed in them if they didn't have those expectations. 


I do enjoy the fact that I have a lot pf people come to me and ask advise. Those people range from very young (my son's friends) to old (my father). People of all ages in between have asked about diet, nutrition, weight lifting, weight loss, alcohol consumption, clothes for the gym, shoes, make-up, you name it, I have been asked about it and how I make it all work for me.


One thing I have learned is what works for one may not work for another. So it is good to listen, heed the advise and then contemplate how it may work for you, in your situation and then adjust. There is no set way of doing anything in life, really.


Even diets, we all need to start with one and monitor how we progress, what works for us and what doesn't, it's all a learning cycle.


The same goes for exercise. What I love may not hold any interest to someone else. I love chin ups, kettlebells, push ups, squats, sleds (to name a few things), I know other people who detest this stuff and they love 'body pump" class, aerobics, the elliptical machine, the "inny and outy" leg machine (totally useless!!! ha ha ha).


But if you try to do what you don't enjoy, you wont stick with it, so you need to find something that your heart is in!


There are many ways to achieve fitness goals, but you must first have a clear understanding of exactly what your goal is. Have you written it down? If someone asks you "what is your goal?" can you explain it? 


I remember back quite some time ago, almost a year ago when I emailed Roy (my trainer), before we ever met in person and I explained my goals. He must have thought I was an absolute nut case! I sent a huge email (full of typos- I forgot my glasses and my contacts), and told him exactly where I was, where I do not want to be and where I want to go in respect to my training. 


I needed someone who believed in me, valued what I wanted and understood my goals. I needed someone who would support me every step of the way. Had I been unable to explain all of this to him, who knows where I would be today. Would we have continued? Would I have quit due to frustration?


Luckily, I knew exactly how to express my goals, and Roy has been right there pushing me every inch of the way closer and closer.


I you are feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, unsuccessful, like you haven't made any progress or anything  along these lines, give this all some thought. Do YOU know where you are going? Do you have a map or directions or are you just driving along as a passenger, looking out the window of life?


Write them down, be specific, hold them near and dear to your heart and don't let anyone get in your way. 

You can do it.

Where Will I be in 6 Months? (Fitness World Blog)

This is a Fitness Blog World post: Where do you see yourself in 6 months from now...and what about in 2-5 years from now? 


That is always a question people ask at job interviews isn't it? And why do you think people want to know such a thing? I can tell you.


They want to know if you have goals and a purpose, or are you floundering along hoping that things just "work out right".


I know exactly where I will be 6 months from now, I will be in sunny Mexico, at Hacienda Eden, wearing an ever so skimpy bikini, laying on my chaise lounge, reading a book, sipping a margarita, talking with Cindy and Joe!

I will run and do plyos along the beach every morning before anyone else wakes up. Isn't this a beautiful beach? 

We will all enjoy great Mexican food, sitting with our bare feet in the sand and pretty much doing nothing.

I go every year in February, it gives me something to look forward to and a great way to escape the cold, wet winter of California. I have already made my reservations, I have my airline tickets, I only need the rental car and I am set.


In terms of my fitness goals, I see myself continuing on with Roy, and taking advantage of his knowledge to add more size on my legs, yet maintain a low level of bodyfat. My training program always changes, but I am not one to try a new revolutionary idea as seen on TV, then skip onto another one when I don't see immediate results. 


I will be heavier in weight (I am sure), higher bodyfat (not much), and will also have a very, very happy family because I will not be on a "diet" and I will make wonderful foods for them. Life will be post competition bliss for everyone.


2 to 5 years is a different story, some of the events will surely repeat themselves, such as the annual vacation, and I will always continue my weight training, but the big question is,  will I still be competing? 


I cannot answer that right now. I have enjoyed competing on so many levels, yet there are always times when I despise it like a pet that I have adopted, yet must care for and nurture, although it seems to be the devil I have invited into my home.


If I am still competing, I would like to be competing in Women's Physique instead of Figure. This goes along with everything I want about adding more lean mass to my frame, and maintaining a muscular physique. This means I will be in the gym, lifting heavy, eating well, incorporating some of the dreaded cardio, and sculpting my body into the body I want.


Whether I end up on stage or not is not really of consequence, you see, I don't lift weights to compete, I compete to lift weights.


It's all about priorities.


Please take the time to stop by Fitness Blog World and read what all the other writers have to say about their short and long term goals.

Monday Morning Motivation

GOALS:

I feel they are oh so important to me. I need a goal every day, every week, every few months. I work toward my goal, and everything I do is done with my goal in mind.

 

For some people a goal may be as simple as not having a soda that day. The long term goal may be to not have soda for a month.

 

Some people have a goal of learning to walk again, one step at a time, after a horrible accident.

 

Athletes who succeed:

1. Choose their priorities carefully

2. Consider time constraints and other responsibilities, such as family and work, when setting goals

3. Set up a plan that is in line with how much time and effort they have available.

Athletes who fall short:

1. Are often unrealistic about their goals

2. Don’t calculate the amount of time they can devote to them

3. Only set long-term goals, not short-term plans to get there

Life's ups and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals. Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want. Marsha Sinetar

When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly love life. Greg Anderson

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Zig Ziglar

Man is a goal seeking animal. His life only has meaning if he is reaching out and striving for his goals. Aristotle

If you’re bored with life — you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things — you don’t have enough goals. Lou Holtz

The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach. Benjamin Mays

The unfortunate aspect about living life without your own goals is that you may very well reach a point in your life where you will wonder, ‘what would have happened if I had only done’… Catherine Pulsifer