Food Intolerances (Fitness Blog World post)

Above is a picture of my vegetables I would prepare for a few days worth of meals. Quite a bit huh? 

I think that depending on your regular diet, you may or may not notice the effects that individual foods have on your system. For instance, someone who eats a diet comprised of fast food, packaged goods or highly process foods probably would not notice if one or two items actually caused issues with their system or physique as quickly as someone who eats a fairly regimented diet. I say that because I believe anyone who eats a great deal of packaged foods probably doesn't feel very good most of the time anyway. 

I don't eat many packaged foods and whenever I do, I swell slightly as I am fairly sensitive to large amounts of sodium. Typically when we go to a restaurant, before the meal has ended I need to remove my wedding ring because my fingers are starting to swell. Let's hope I never lose it!

In the past year or so I had been having difficulty with my stomach. Something was causing it to bloat and become hard, so hard you could touch it and it felt like it might pop, I looked pregnant at times. I didn't have gas, but was quite uncomfortable and this might last a few days then subside.

I visited the doctor, I thought I might be allergic to something. I explained my situation, but he wasn't really helpful Although I do like my doctor quite a bit, he believes that I am a bit of a "special individual" in that my diet and exercise are very extreme compared to the general population, especially for someone my age. 

We talked about it, he prodded my stomach, yes indeed it was hard and swollen. He thought perhaps I should see a gastroenterologist, I wanted to see an allergist for a food sensitivity test. We couldn't agree. He suggested I was eating too many vegetables. I suggested he was nuts. We never agreed.

I decided to do my own 'elimination diet" of sorts. I know that a few basic items never cause me any problems so I stuck to those for a while. Brown rice, egg whites, oatmeal, asparagus, chicken breast. That was basically it for a while. I eliminated my supplements and meal replacement drinks, even whey protein. Anything that might be causing an issue went.

I slowly added back in some foods. Mushrooms were the first to come back, I love them and I had no problems. I slowly added foods back in. I kept track of every single thing I ingested, along with the time of day to see when I would react. This is really important, if you don't write it down you may never really know what caused it. Then I added back in bell peppers.

Bingo!

My stomach got hard, it swelled, it felt uncomfortable, I looked bloated. It passed and I waited a while longer. I ate bell peppers again. The same thing happened.

I used to eat 1 to 2 cups of sautéed bell peppers almost every day, that's a lot of peppers. I would mix all colors and add some poblanos too, I love, love, love peppers.

I have come to realize that I can eat a very small amount of peppers, but not a cup at a time, I have had to virtually eliminate them from my daily diet.

I am not allergic, when you are allergic you have an acute reaction. There is a difference between an allergy and an intolerance.

I have known for over 20 years that I am lactose intolerant, pity my poor family when I finally break down and decide I want to have an ice cream- I won't go into details of what happens, but last time I had an entire ice cream cone (actually I have it in a cup), which I think was about four years ago, I walked down to the ice cream store (they went too, they take every opportunity to have an ice cream) and halfway home I was doubled over in pain, David had to go get the car to bring me home. I don't eat ice cream much now. Maybe a bite or two with a lactaid tablet and I am fine.

So far these are the only things I have discovered, but your body changes. Things that never affected me might affect me soon. If you are having any issues, I first suggest that you start a detailed food diary, either online or in a book. Keep track of condiments- many foods have soy products and so many people cannot tolerate large amounts of soy, you would be amazed what it's in! Here is a list of other names or products that may contain soy. It is also possible that you are allergic to MSG. Take a look at this list of other products that also contain processed free glutamic acid, the ingredient that causes MSG reactions, frightening! Then eliminate packaged foods and sick to foods that you believe you tolerate well. Slowly add foods back in. 

Learn to eat more whole unprocessed foods and it may be easier for you.

Please visit the 26 other talented writers at Fitness Blog World who are all writing about this same topic today. Official post time is 8:00 p.m. EST.

My Turning Point (Fitness Blog World Post)

Welcome to another Fitness Blog World post. Today all 24 or the FBW writers have been posed this question:

What was your trigger or turning point that made you choose fitness and/or a healthy lifestyle? How did that process get you where you are today? What or who has had the most influence on your fitness life?

I actually remember when it happened, and I blame it all on the Spanish. Or maybe a more accurate description is a hot summer in Barcelona.

My brother lives in Barcelona and has for years, when we visit it tends to be weeks at a time. I remember a hot July strolling around eating, drinking, talking, having a wonderful time.

I noticed how beautiful the Spanish women were. They were not overweight, they seemed to feel good in their skin. They went topless on the beach, young, old, everyone did.

You could always tell the American men, they were the overweight men staring at the topless Spanish women. And the American women? They were the ones with huge breast augmentations and a swim suit top on.

The longer I stayed the more uncomfortable I felt about my body. I wasn't huge, but I could stand to lose some weight, I think I was at about 142 pounds, and that is hefty for a woman of 5'3". I wanted to walk around feeling free, feeling good in my skin. I enjoyed my vacation, but vowed to turn myself around when I got home and I did.

Although I had been going to the gym regularly, I wasn't a fanatic like I am now, it wasn't "part of my life". I started going to the gym every single day religiously and decided to run a marathon, here I am running away. This picture was taken 10 years ago when I was 40.

I injured both my feet so took up weight training and the rest is history. I love to lift, I love to train, I love to see the changes that my body can go through in a very short period of time (both the negative and positive).

I have chronicled my past trainers at length in my blog so I won't do that again here, but each has been instrumental in helping me to get right where I am today. 

I cannot say that there is one person who has given me more than anyone else has, not one who has influenced me more than any other. Just as in life, I have had the opportunity to work with and meet so many interesting people, each has enriched my life. I feel that each came into my life at the right time, I learned and moved on.

I am very hard on myself, I expect a lot, sometimes I don't know where I even get off thinking I can expect so much, but I do and it has proven to work very well for me.  I am not someone who has ever suffered from low self esteem, I was brought up by very loving and caring parents who instilled self worth in me from day one. I was taught that I could do or be whatever I wanted, so there would be no reason for me to feel I had 'limits". When I decide I will do something, I do it and I do it well or keep trying until I cannot possibly go on. I don't feel uncomfortable stating what my goals are and feeling quite sure about them. 


My husband David will tell you he saw a drastic change in my "fitness" goals and habits when my mother died a few years ago. She was a vibrant woman who suffered through four years of chemotherapy, dying at home with her family around her.


That's when I started working with a nutritionist and started to teach myself what I needed to know to be successful, on my own. That's when I started competing in Figure too. 


Here are some interesting pictures of me only three years ago (pink suit) and now (orange top). I have nice flat abs, but not much shape to my arms or shoulders to speak of. Gosh even three years ago I was standing in front of my Sub-Zero!

And my back is wide but no definition at all. The butt sure looked good though!

Funny how we can change so much isn't it? 


David will also tell you that I am running away. I am trying to outrun death. I am afraid of becoming ill and suffering. It may be true, I am not sure. All I know, is I never stop. 

Ever

If you enjoyed this post please visit the Fitness Blog World site to check out what has influenced the other writers. Official post time is 8:00 p.m. EST, so be sure to read in the evening! You can also join our group on Facebook.

What is Your Fitness Lacking (Fitness Blog World Post)

I am a member of Fitness Blog World. 21 talented, motivated, energetic and amazing women who write about fitness. Today we are all writing about what our fitness may be lacking. 

This was very easy for me to write, I know exactly what I am lacking and I have been working on it.   I have no problems with goal setting. I know how to eat properly. I have a great trainer. I have a manageable schedule. I have the knowledge. There is just one thing that I don't do enough (although I know I should).

Stretching

And it feels so good, so why do I struggle with this?

I have a great foam roller in my living room, but I would only use it when I was really sore. I have read quite a bit about how it is important to stretch and roll on a regular basis, not only to feel better, but to prevent injury and promote muscle growth.

Still, I wouldn't. There always seemed something better to do, something more exciting or challenging. I am also on a fairly tight schedule, so if I have to cut something out, it won't be any lifting at all, it will be stretching. 

I think in the back of my mind, it's similar to the same school of thought that many people who train with weights have. They only train what they can see. So, since I cannot "see" any progress or change from stretching, I can easily justify the fact that I eliminate it.

Well, I am wrong!


I always feel better when I stretch, and several years ago I was Yoga devotee. Three nights a week I would go  to my 90 minute Yoga class led by Venus. She was the reason I went, she made the studio so calm and warm, and as I would lay on the floor, she would bring essential oils over and hold them under my nostrils, or rub them on my temples. I always felt like I was floating on a cloud when I was done. But she moved away. I have never found an atmosphere like the one she created in that studio.


Oh I digress. I was trying to tell you that I LOVE to stretch, it feels great, it is necessary for a well cared for body. So....I am making a point of stretching more, to get that "cloud" feeling back!


Actually, Roy makes me stretch before we train, and that is really what has pushed me to incorporate stretching more. I am really enjoying my new schedule. I could probably do more, but for now it's a great start.


Monday 5:00 am Cardio 20 minutes/ abs 15 minutes/ stretching 15 minutes
Monday 11:30 am Stairs and jump rope
Monday 5:30 pm Weights with Roy
Tuesday 5:00 am Weights at Courtside
Tuesday 11:30 am Stairs and jump rope
Wednesday 5:00 am Cardio 20 minutes/ abs 15 minutes/ stretching 15 minutes
No stairs- standing meeting :(
Wednesday 5:30 pm Weights with Roy
Thursday 5:00 am Weights at Courtside
Thursday 11:30 am Stairs and jump rope
Friday 5:00 am Cardio 20 minutes/ abs 15 minutes/ stretching 15 minutes
Friday 12:00 noon Weights with Roy
Saturday and Sunday 6:00 am Stretching, Weights, Cardio, stretching (again)


I shall now try to roll on my foam roller a bit at night, just before bed. As the boys watch TV I could easily do that!


Advise I would give to others would be to schedule the time in. I have found that since I have it written on my sheet, and have worked it into my routine, I don't skip it. I even find that some days I am stretching and rolling a lot longer than I allotted, and that's great!


Be sure to visit the Fitness Blog World site and check in with all of the other writers.  

Mentorship (Fitness Blog World Post)

Yes this is me and Phil Heath, Mr. Olympia 2011, he was guest posing at my latest competition. He was at the same one last year too!

This is  the latest Fitness Blog World post, I lost track of time and missed the deadline of 8:00 p.m. Monday night, so I will post two on Monday! ha ha

The question posed to us today is this: 

Mentorship what advise would you give to someone starting out on their fitness journey? How do you do it all? How do you stay so fit?

There is so much to say and tell you. I am very fit, there is no doubt about it. I "do it all", that's for sure. I have a full time job that is quite demanding, a husband (married 27 years), a 17 year old son, I am the team mom for his Varsity lacrosse team year two in a row, I cook, I go to the gym every single day, I work with a trainer (now three days a week after work and still go to the gym before work too).

I can easily tell you how I do it all. I do it all because it is all important to me. I believe that we make time for the things in life that we feel are important.

So, that means If you tell me you will meet me, or do something with me and you forget, or are very, very late; I am not important to you, so be careful there.

I believe that health is more important than money. I also believe that we need to love ourselves and feel pride in ourselves. I am proud of the fact that I am in great shape, I am strong, I am free to make choices in life.

My advise to you  would be this:

1) Determine why you want to "get fit". If it is for any reason, ANY, other than for yourself, you will not succeed. 

2) Set a goal, decide what you want to do or what you want to accomplish and write it down.

3) Establish your game plan, you need a plan to make it work. Write it down. What days will you go to the gym and when? What will you do there? What might hinder this? How can you eliminate this obstruction?

4) Don't make excuses. If you don't go to the gym that is completely your fault. So maybe you need to work late, go after work anyway. Cut it short if you have to but go. Make excuses to me and they go in one ear and out the other. I won't feel sorry for you or your situation, I run into the same issues myself, I just deal with it and I don't make excuses up. You have no one to blame but yourself, and since you control yourself, there is no valid excuse is there?

5) Don't expect overnight results. It took you years to get out of shape, it may take several months to see a change.

6) You cannot "wish" fat away. Everything you eat determines what your body looks like. Everything.  You need to learn what foods are good just as much as you need to learn which ones are bad.

7) If you backslide, build a bridge and get over it. No one is perfect, we all make poor choices but learn from your mistake, don't keep making the same one over and over, otherwise it's not a mistake, it's a habit.

8) Love yourself and be kind to yourself.

9) Reach out and ask for advise, ask for tips, share your frustrations and successes. It helps to have someone you can confide in. You can develop deep and lasting friendships by interacting with people who have the same goals as you. 

10) Don't hang out with bad influences. If you have friends who party all night long and encourage you to skip your training, dump them, or slowly move away from their circle, they are no good for you. Birds of a feather flock together.

11) Celebrate your successes, toot your own horn, strut your stuff and be proud!

There is nothing more beautiful than a confident woman who is in control and feels good in her own skin. In jeans, a dress, make up, no make up. You can create yourself to be a vivacious, alluring woman, if you just feel good about YOU!

Decide what is important to you and go after it!

Please visit Fitness Blog World and the 20 additional writers who will be sharing their advise on mentorship.

Where Will I be in 6 Months? (Fitness World Blog)

This is a Fitness Blog World post: Where do you see yourself in 6 months from now...and what about in 2-5 years from now? 


That is always a question people ask at job interviews isn't it? And why do you think people want to know such a thing? I can tell you.


They want to know if you have goals and a purpose, or are you floundering along hoping that things just "work out right".


I know exactly where I will be 6 months from now, I will be in sunny Mexico, at Hacienda Eden, wearing an ever so skimpy bikini, laying on my chaise lounge, reading a book, sipping a margarita, talking with Cindy and Joe!

I will run and do plyos along the beach every morning before anyone else wakes up. Isn't this a beautiful beach? 

We will all enjoy great Mexican food, sitting with our bare feet in the sand and pretty much doing nothing.

I go every year in February, it gives me something to look forward to and a great way to escape the cold, wet winter of California. I have already made my reservations, I have my airline tickets, I only need the rental car and I am set.


In terms of my fitness goals, I see myself continuing on with Roy, and taking advantage of his knowledge to add more size on my legs, yet maintain a low level of bodyfat. My training program always changes, but I am not one to try a new revolutionary idea as seen on TV, then skip onto another one when I don't see immediate results. 


I will be heavier in weight (I am sure), higher bodyfat (not much), and will also have a very, very happy family because I will not be on a "diet" and I will make wonderful foods for them. Life will be post competition bliss for everyone.


2 to 5 years is a different story, some of the events will surely repeat themselves, such as the annual vacation, and I will always continue my weight training, but the big question is,  will I still be competing? 


I cannot answer that right now. I have enjoyed competing on so many levels, yet there are always times when I despise it like a pet that I have adopted, yet must care for and nurture, although it seems to be the devil I have invited into my home.


If I am still competing, I would like to be competing in Women's Physique instead of Figure. This goes along with everything I want about adding more lean mass to my frame, and maintaining a muscular physique. This means I will be in the gym, lifting heavy, eating well, incorporating some of the dreaded cardio, and sculpting my body into the body I want.


Whether I end up on stage or not is not really of consequence, you see, I don't lift weights to compete, I compete to lift weights.


It's all about priorities.


Please take the time to stop by Fitness Blog World and read what all the other writers have to say about their short and long term goals.

How Has Fitness Changed My Closest Relationships? (Fitness Blog World Post)

Today's post is a Fitness Blog World post, we are all writing about this same topic, so please be sure to visit the site to read about all of my sister's experiences too! Our question to ponder was this:

How has fitness changed your closest relationships? For good, bad, or both?

It's a tough one to answer, and I think I need to say:

"The good, the bad, and the ugly"

It's also way too much for one post as it can go in so many directions. I will of course need to focus on my husband, David and my son, Cooper.

I was going to focus in on fitness as opposed to competing as they are two completely different worlds. But I wrote and wrote and found that it is my life now, whether it is "on season" (when I am on a very strict diet and training twice a day) or "off season" (when I am not so strict, but still monitored diet and training once a day.)

David and Cooper love to eat and love to dine out, I do too. I think that my attitude toward a "cleaner" style of eating has impacted this. We do not go out as much as we used to. When it is close to a competition, I encourage them to go out without me, but they tend not to and this makes me feel a bit guilty.

Here the two of them are, we were just at McClintocks in Arroyo Grande when we visited my father. Steak, potatoes, mushrooms, wine, garlic bread, beans.  I had steak and vegetables, Cooper got to eat all the rest of my food!

I think it may be very easy for someone to be very self centered and self absorbed and forget about the people around them. It takes a lot of effort to remember that they probably don't have a desire to eat fish and vegetables all day long, everyday like me.

David loves to go wine tasting and we used to do that quite a bit. Now, it's not on the agenda much. Sometimes I go and drink water, I don't mind at all, in fact it seems to provide people with all sorts of things to say and discuss with me. It's also fun to watch people get a bit high and I am straight as can be.

In the picture below, David and Cooper are at Tablas Creek Winery, this is a very prestigious winery and they have fabulous wines. I didn't taste. In fact, the woman who was assisting us, Mary, immediately asked me if I was a competitor, and said she could spot me as soon as I walked in. She and I ended up having a very long conversation while the boys just kinda helped themselves! She is a runner and a trainer, she was telling me about her accomplishments and asking about mine.

As usual, the question was posed to both David and Cooper: "You must be so proud of her!"

Honestly, they get asked that all the time. I know that they are, yet they also want to tell the people how hard I work for it, how much time and effort it takes, it's not all a bed of roses.

Like wine making (David's hobby), everyone thinks it is so glamorous, well I know it's not, it takes hours and days and months of hard work, usually in cold wet conditions, late at night.

Cooper is having fun, David is enjoying the wine. Cooper decided that he wants to make his own wine now, and that means grow the grapes, harvest, crush, ferment, press, rack, bottle and age. Of of course there is the drinking too.

Here he has selected his "little buddies" to go home with him. 

Fitness has changed our relationship in many ways, and I think it is important  to know that come August 18, 2011 David and I will have been married for 27 years! And we lived together for 5 years prior to getting married.

So, LIFE has changed our relationship, we have both grown up, grown older, grown into things, grown out of things. We have developed our own interests and hobbies, yet we are very much involved with each other. 

Fitness has influenced how I treat myself and therefore how I treat the people I love. I want them to eat healthy like I do, yet they don't necessarily have the same idea of what "healthy" means. 

We have learned to compromise a lot. I have learned to make sure I have the foods I want and need at all times, and I will make meals for the boys, unless I cannot for some reason.

They will eat a different meal than I will, or I will change bits and pieces so that it is more palatable to them and it fits my diet.

David and Cooper know that my training is probably the most important thing in the world to me, besides my family of course. I won't miss my training for anything and they make sure to make plans around it. That's really why I started getting up at 4:00 a.m. That way I could fit in the gym and not impact them as much. I don't go to the gym early to get to work on time, my WORK schedule is arranged around my training schedule!

I have learned to be much less dependent on anyone and less whiny. There was a long time in my life that water had to have ice, food had to be hot, meals always had to have three things on the plate.

I now drink any water, as long as its clean. I eat any food, (as long as it has the correct macro-nutrients), any temperature, and I usually eat out of bowls. God I sound like a dog!

Here is Cooper crammed into the back of the mini-cooper with all our luggage and his 6 "little buddies" Rossanne grapes.

I believe that I have strengthened the respect that Cooper has for me because of my fitness. There are many 17 year olds who wouldn't give their parents the time of day. He will come talk to me about training, about lifting weights, about food and nutrition. His friends will ask me if they should take a certain supplement and how much. I was the team mom for his Varsity lacrosse team and advised all the parents and kids on what to eat before, during and after games, they all listened and so did he. By the way, gummy bears are a great snack during high energy games for them!

I feel that my "fitness" and particularly competing has provided me with an amazing amount of confidence and self love. I LIKE myself, and to be able to love others, you need to start with loving yourself. I am proud of my accomplishments and where I am in my life, I know what I want and I make sure I do whatever it takes to get it.

It has also made me very conscious that I have some extremely particular needs, and both David and Cooper are aware of them and make efforts to ensure they are  met. For instance, they know that I must eat as soon as I walk in the door from work, sometimes David has already heated up the food for me.  I eat, then can help them make dinner. I literally cannot function without my food and they know it.

They have learned that the body is an amazing piece of machinery, they see mine go through so many changes. David will look at me and tell me it must be time to eat when he sees my veins protruding out all over my arms.


We have all learned to respect each other and each others needs, or each others desires and wants.


We have learned to listen to each others needs, whether they are emotional, spiritual, or just the need of "stuff". We have learned to honor our own interest and have each become our own person. I know many married couples who seem to be connected at the hip. That may be a good thing for them, but I don't know how two individuals could actually want the same thing all the time. They must surely have unique desires?


Fitness has no challenges as far as I am concerned, becoming "fit" or leading a life that is 'fitness" focused has only been positive for me and my relationships.


I cannot say the same about competing though. I feel that competing is not particularly good for a relationship, unless both people are into the same thing. When competing, you eat, sleep, train. That's it, there is one focus, and it all varies by the person, depending on their own fitness level year round, their own healthy or not so healthy eating habits year round, and their ability to diet. 


I eat almost the same all the time, I will just add some things in certain times of the year. I never eat nachos, I am not a chip dipper, I have one candy bar after a competition, I hate soda. Dieting is not so hard for me.


However, the intensity of the focus, of the timeline that needs to be met, of the constant pressure to improve does cause me stress, and the people around me will feel it. Food must be eaten on a very tight schedule, sleep cannot be interrupted, training must take place but the energy level sometimes wanes.


This is when I feel everyone wants something from me, something I cannot give, there is not enough of me to go around.


I will break, usually about 4 weeks out. Fall apart really, and it will last a couple days. 


This is the type of thing that every competitor I have ever met goes through, and their partners don't deal well with it, how could they? They can start to resent it all, the time that is taken away from "their" time for all of the silly training and eating and sleeping. They may smile and say everything is alright, what else can they do?


At some point before every competition, (and I have been in 6), I will vow never to do it again. I don't want to have to diet so strictly, to feel hunger constantly, to be exhausted yet still have to go BACK to the gym after work when I was there before work. When I sequester myself so everyone else can enjoy their food and I just don't want to watch, I can't take it. 


At some point, I will figure out what makes me do it yet again. At some point I will feel that I have achieved what I set out to do. 


My family watches me go through this, and never once have they said to stop. They see me struggle, and they support me. They also see me elated when I have  stepped off the stage, always, always with at least one trophy in hand. That silly plastic gold colored caricature of a woman, clutched in my dirty hand, the smile spread wide across my face.


My competing has taught us all to support each other in our struggles, be they externally or internally driven.

Fitness? It has made life better. Competing? It's like Harry Potter, there is a lot of magic but there are also some very frightening events around unknown corners.

Please stop by Fitness Blog World to read what others have to share on this same topic!

What do you fear? (Fitness Blog World Post)

 

My first blog for Fitness Blog World

This took a lot of thinking, I don’t believe that I am afraid of anything, I feel invincible, and I can accomplish whatever I want. I have no fears.

Actually I am afraid of spiders, in fact, I had a car once, a red (I love red cars) Mazda RX3 and I went to get in one day and saw a huge spider web running from the steering wheel to a spot in the roof. I screamed and jumped away, and told David I would never, ever get in the car again, and I didn’t. I sold it. And I never even saw the spider….

Seriously though, I fear becoming obsessed. I have seen way too many people fall into it. And at what point do I decide I am obsessed? It’s subjective really. Many people now call me obsessive, others think I am not and I think it all depends on what your own world looks like, what lenses you are looking through.

Once I started to compete, I grew to love my competition body. To see myself so lean and tight, with beautiful, full muscles, and no fat anywhere is amazing, running my hand along my flat, tight stomach still thrills me, every inch of my body feels good actually, it’s surreal.

Yes the body feels as good as it looks. And the tan, the dark painted skin when just applied is amazing, my natural blond long hair against the dark skin, like a chocolate palomino horse.

I even start to like the feel of hunger, it’s hard to describe, but I never feel full, I always feel somewhat empty, yet that means I am leaning out, I am getting tighter, I am not fat.

Sounds a little sick huh?

I get there in my head though, and I think I have to so I am able to go through it, I have to get into a zone. It’s not easy because if it were, everyone would do it, and not many do, at least not more than once.

After a competition it is difficult for me to accept my “normal” body, and even my “normal” body knocks the socks off most everyone around me.  I slowly start to adjust, sometimes it takes me longer than other times, sometimes it is fairly quick, but there is always adjustment.

I look at myself so critically, one small jiggle and I start to freak out. Thankfully, once I start adding more weight back, I do grow to like my bigger self, but that worry is still there.

The world of Figure competitions can turn ugly quickly. I have seen many a woman build her whole life around it only to have it shatter in a thousand pieces in front of her when she finally realizes she won’t be a “pro” or won’t get a supplement endorsement, a magazine cover, become a famous model. It can be like the pursuit of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It just doesn't exist.

Food becomes an enemy, many develop eating disorders, and life with others is impossible. I see them on Facebook, they never speak of anything else but their diet, their training, how hungry they are, how tired they are. Who wants to hear this? No one does.

So people eventually stop listening, they pull away.

I make a conscious effort not to talk about my diet, my training, any of it unless someone asks. And they always ask! Guys at the gym will come up and say “You’re getting ready for a competition huh? I can see you are leaning out.” I just tell them yes and leave it at that.

I fear that I won’t be well adjusted at some point and I could develop an eating disorder or body dysmorphia.  I fear that I will become obsessed with the "competition” look and dislike myself when I look normal. I fear losing my loved ones because I place my competitions and diet ahead of their wants and needs.

I fear that I will become a shallow person who thinks that this is what I need to be all the time, a competitor, and really, it’s all just a make believe game, a show, a production.

I fear that I will not be able to enjoy wine with friends, eat a cheeseburger and fires without feeling guilt, or enjoy vacation like a normal person.

These fears always make me second guess prepping for another competition, will this be the one where I never turn back? Will this be the one that causes me to lose all sight of what life is really about? Will this be the one that sets me up for disaster?

Although I have these fears that nag me, I believe I have successfully avoided it all for several reasons. I  have a family that loves and supports me, thick or thin, fat or lean.  I have friends who have the same interest and some who do not. I have an outlet, my blog which allows me to write about my life, my hopes, my fears, my ups and downs, my diet and training, and all the fun adventures I pack in every single day.

I also think the main reason is that I do this for health. I started out to be healthy, to be fit, and to live a long and enjoyable life. I also love the study of how it all works, the science, the research, and the data.

And I really love to lift weights!

Oh, and I also also believe my wacky sense of humor, ability to laugh at myself and desire to experience everything I possibly can helps keep me sane. (Can you read my shirt? It says "Charm School Reject"....)

I didn't start running, weight training and eating healthy so I could compete in Figure, it just became the next logical step in my personal progression, my own growth; and just as it drifted in at the moment it was right for me, it will leave my life when it again feels right. 


And I will have all those plastic gold trophies to remind me of the fun, yet frightening experience it was.

Be sure to visit Fitness Blog World and my sisters in writing, they have all written about their fears today and I know you will enjoy their experiences.

Fitness Blog World

Welcomes me!

Oh isn't this exciting!? I have been accepted as a member of an organized group of wonderfully dedicated, talented, passionate women who write about fitness. 

Oh I am not explaining this well. Of course there are many, many organized women who write about fitness. This group is different.

Fitness Blog World is a site where women share their passion for life, and somehow it all includes fitness. Every few weeks we will write on the same topic, to be posted on the same day.


I will indicate in my blog that it is a Fitness Blog World post so you will know to go visit the site for other's views or experiences on the same topic.

This means you will see several different writers, share several different views and ideas on the same topic, on the same day. Of course, the numbers in our group could grow!


Humor is interspersed occasionally throughout, some are very serious and some are not so serious, some write about competing, some about eating, some about losing weight, but in each the heart, soul, passion and dedication clearly shine through.

It's sort of like being in my own Flash Mob Dance at my computer! (email subscribers will need to navigate to the blog to view this video)

Join me in our dance, have fun, get excited, learn from all of us!


I encourage you to take a look at all of their sites, find one or many that move you, get involved and share our world with us. My first post for FBW will be next week, the first week of July.


You can also subscribe to FBW so that each time we have a shared posting, you will be notified.