Competition Time

My competition day is here! I am happy to be at the end, while I love the preparation and anticipation, it is a lot of work, stress, and time. Like any goal in life that is important, the work achieving it is long, arduous and stressful.

These pictures were taken on Thursday, two days prior to the show. I started my dehydration process, but the days where my body will really make dramatic changes are Friday afternoon and Saturday as everything tightens up.

I am pleased that I weigh one pound more (Friday) than I did last year at the same time, I felt I was too lean and looked it. The guidelines in Physique do not call for super ripped, super lean like Bodybuilding, although there will certainly be competitors there who are. it will be interesting to see if they are the ones who place (meaning the judges won't follow the guidelines established by the NPC), or the less ripped ones will. Only time will tell!

I never lost all the fat in my face as I usually do, don't get me wrong  it's still very lean but not gaunt as it was in the past. And my glutes, they still have ample padding, which is another odd thing. 

I took Thursday and Friday off to pack, shop, cook, and rest. When you are heading into the show it is exhausting. You have reached saturation point, you are tired, truly fatigued, hungry, thirsty, and in need of coffee. Tuesday at work I had a caffeine withdrawal headache all day, so I took 400 mg of caffeine the following days to ease that. I am looking forward to a really hot, black cup of coffee on Sunday morning. I will get up before anyone else and have my coffee and some sourdough toast with melted sharp cheddar cheese. Or maybe cheesecake.

Cooper is home for the weekend, so he and David have boys-night Friday while I am in my hotel with Sakura. Then on Sunday, Mother's Day I will be home with the family again.

Friday afternoon I will be heading to the hotel and will get my spray tan, this is what makes all of the definition show in the muscles. Then Sakura and I will hang out and just talk and rest. Resting is important for a few days leading up as it reduces cortisol levels.

Thursday and Friday there was no training allowed (rest is needed) so I went into the gym at opening each day and practiced posing and my routine. It's amazing how tired all that flexing makes you!

Below is a video of my posing on Thursday. The body fat is in check, low yet not too low, I am not hard enough yet but the dehydration will take care of that, but I think I am on track.

 

Thursday I did a little baking. I made my traditional cheesecake that I eat Friday night and Saturday morning and I made some Paleo brownies. David tried them and said they were good, not super chocolaty and lighter, more cake like than usual. The flour is replaced with blanched almond flour and the sugar is replaced with fresh dates. 

I dropped some brownies and cheesecake off for Roy about 12:30 on Friday and went home to finish packing and rest a bit before I head out.

Roy is coming to pre-judging to see me, so is one guy from work. David will be coming to finals and several of the guys from the gym will be there too.

No matter what happens, what the outcome is, I saw a quote today that sums it all up:

You see, I am already a champion.

Supporting Fellow Competitors

I have noticed that things can get ugly in the world of competitions. I am not quite sure why I never felt this way before, but I am seeing a lot more of the sides of things that I don't particularly care for. 

I remember when I first started, I was given this advice for backstage: "Keep your headphones in, just sit, listen to some music and chill. They can get catty".

I didn't take that advice, because I was too nervous, too anxious, too wound up. I ended up talking to many different women, some I have developed lasting friendships with.

I never really noticed it too much before, although there was always a "group" that would hang out together,  and they would all stare at anyone they thought might be competition to them, but I never paid attention, they could be in their own "small" world as far as I was concerned. 

I have always sought the friendship of fellow competitors  even though we are competing against each other, it really doesn't matter, because everything depends on me. On how I look, how I have trained and dieted, how I present myself at the competition. Ultimately there will always be someone who places better than me. I have been in competitions where one gal placed ahead of me, and the next year I placed ahead of her. It's very fluid and all of our life's events will mold our look for that one day.

I think that we should all encourage each other, support each other and offer help where we can. Really, it's "us" against the rest of the world isn't it? And it's a lot easier when you have someone on your side to commiserate with. 

Recently I saw a fellow competitor say something very negative about another competitor on Facebook. I was shocked, how could she do that? 

I realized that I look at the competitions differently than she does. I look at it as competing against myself, to be better each time, to be better than I was before, to be better than ever. She looks at it to win, pure and simple, and at any cost.
 
I think their motivation for competing will tell all. I compete because I train. I train hard and I want a way to showcase all of my hard work and effort, someplace outside of the gym. Training is my passion.

Many people train only to compete, the training is not their love, but the result is. They don't enjoy training, would prefer to do other things, complain about it and the diet all the time and if they could compete without training, that's probably what they would do.

Of course, placing above someone else, and winning is fantastic, it makes all the hard work a bit easier to accept. But not placing does not mean I have failed. I was still the best I could be at that time. I still have the knowledge that I look absolutely stunning, ripped, healthy, fit and amazing and am very proud of it. I work hard everyday to maintain this, and no plastic trophy (or lack of) is really going to change anything about that.

If I had ever gone into a competition and hadn't prepped my very hardest, that may change the way I feel about it all, but I have never done that. My attitude has changed a bit about them all, I know that. I think I am more easy going, less stressed, less worried about it  all, but that doesn't mean I am not busting my butt day in and day out still. I am just doing it without all the whining and complaining! I am still doing everything I should be to create the physique that I want, and hopefully, that the judges want too.

But my own interests are most important, that's why I decided to go into Physique. The Figure look was becoming softer, more feminine, less muscular.  Although I do not want to look like a Bodybuilder, I also decided that I wanted more than the Figure competitor look, I wanted more muscle and to be leaner. 

I do it for myself. I also do it for the interaction and wonderful people I meet. I have developed many friendships with women I have met at competitions, or because of competitions. 

I love helping others reach their potential, or at least believe that they can. I want to surround myself with happy, successful, beautiful friends who are proud of their accomplishments. I don't want to be standing on an island, alone  holding my plastic trophy. 

It's all winding down, or winding up! I guess it all depends on how you look at it! I feel like I have gotten a second wind, I have a new found energy that had been lacking for several weeks. I am sure it's the strain of the diet, the two a day training, the constant wondering about how I am doing, how am I looking now? Am I getting too old for this? (NEVER!!) ha ha ha 

It's 11 days till my competition, I am looking forward to some good, quality food. Once a day at the gym, and mostly, training just for the fun of it! Roy, if you are reading, I want to push the sled! Or use the battle ropes. Chains, oh we did that, and they were hard, but I will have more calories soon, I will have more energy. Hmmmm, the heavy bag is gone, maybe we should just spar? 

I know going into it that I will meet many new faces, some I will connect with and continue the friendship, others I may only see again at another competition. 

I know going out of it that I will be stronger, have more confidence, feel accomplishment and quite a bit of happiness. The feeling of sticking through something so demanding and strenuous, something that has a definite ending date, a final chapter, is difficult to describe. 

And then, then the cooking and recipes shall begin!

Three Weeks Out till Women's Physique Competition

Yes, I am still here! Busy, busy, busy! When I post this it will really be only two weeks from my competition, but I just got around to doing this. It's been a fast and furious few months in preparation of my first Women's Physique competition, I almost feel like it's my very first show, but it's not, I should be calm and collected, but the thought of this new REAL posing and a dance/posing routine to music is starting to make me a bit anxious. 

I spend as much time as possible practicing my posing, videoing it and critiquing myself. There is always room for improvement. Luckily I have some awesome people nudging me along and checking in now and again. It's exciting that my friend Sakura Barrientos and I will be sharing a room the night before. We have our tans scheduled together and we can talk and laugh all evening long. Usually I am all by myself, posting pictures on Facebook of my cheesecake that I am eating, which drives all the other competitors absolutely crazy! I get lean, super lean and that's my "secret" to filling out the night before. That  along with a huge baked potato and steak. Then I eat the same thing in the morning. The fun is just about to begin.....

I have maintained my weight higher than usual on purpose. In these pictures I am 124 pounds, but as I write this I am at 122 and have been for almost a week. I will drop only a little bit more and hopefully, will look perfect once I dehydrate. That will make the skin tight and hard looking, it already looks thin. In fact, Wednesday night as I sat attempting to breathe (after Roy had me doing squats with a whopping 162 1/2 pounds!!!!), he looked at me and said "Your skin on your arms and chest is paper thin" yes, it looks white, translucent, delicate and....thin now. The only part left is the abs and upper hip area a bit, but it will go shortly.

I have not curtailed my lifting, at least not intentionally. No weights have been lowered, but Thursday at 5:00 a.m. as I trained hamstrings and lower back on my own, I felt so fatigued, that at times I wanted to crumple to the ground and just cry.

Then I thought of my dad who has been struggling with real fatigue, brought on by his Acute Myeloid Leukemia (bone marrow cancer). His will not go away when he rests or eats a cheeseburger, mine will. It made me cry a bit thinking how selfish I was being and reminded myself that I hate whiners. I pushed on and finished my training, at the dictated reps and weights. I know I was making a lot of noise as I performed set after set of back extensions on the Glute Ham Raise, while holding a 50 pound dumbbell to my chest, people were looking, but I didn't care, I never do.

I have been training two, and sometimes (often) three times a day. I don't do a long bout of cardio, the 20 minutes on the stairmill or treadmill has turned to 30 minutes. Then the stairs at work, usually 3 times a week, but not for long, I don't have the energy to run up and down, and jump rope for more than 20 minutes.

So any free time I have is spent grocery shopping, preparing food, eating or sleeping. That's about it. 

And there is the lifting, the part I love, every single day, sometimes twice a day just to fit it all in. My shoulder training has changed a bit and I have added in cables to round everything out. So on Tuesdays I have to go back to the gym after work to finish up shoulders. Then on Fridays after I train shoulders with Roy, I eat and make sure I have fuel, then it's back into Gold's to finish on my own. It's not a good idea to train for a long extended period of time, just like fasted cardio - you are just making your muscle eat itself all up!

My suit bottoms should be back to me Saturday, so Sunday I have to take some video of myself posing in my suit. It does make a difference and I haven't had it this whole time, so I am only guessing how I will look. I sent it back to Celeste Harsa of Suits by Celeste who made my suit for me because....my glutes have changed. They have gotten bigger (this is a good thing) and more muscular, so when I lost bodyfat they pretty much stayed bigger than usual. My suit did not care for that, it wanted to be a permanent wedgie and those are forbidden in the rules! The funny thing is, most of the suits look like wedgies anyway!

So I have been wearing some "boyshort" undies when I pose. It doesn't seem to bother anyone and allows me to see my body better.

I am also very fortunate to belong to a gym where so many people support me. It's almost all men, there are very few gals at the gym (who lift) first thing in the morning. But they're all encouraging, tell me how great I look, offer advice and are generally fun guys to be around. 

Below is a video of my posing, if you are an email subscriber you will need to click on the blog link at the top to go directly to the blog to view this (that means you dad!)

Size, Perceptions and Self Acceptance

My son came home from college this past weekend, the first time we have seen him in 5 weeks. It was great to see him but also hectic, we had a lot to fit in, he was sick and needed to go to urgent care for anti-biotics and of course, he had to spend time with friends too.

Sunday morning I slept in as usual and then went to Gold's to train my back, I love Sundays I can usually spend all the time I want to and it's never crowded, everyone seems to take Sundays off. This Sunday I had an appointment at 9:00 so I was under a bit of a time constraint, but I fit most everything in.

My Sundays take so long because of all of my chin ups - It takes me about 45 minutes just for those!

It's also harvest so David had to pick the grapes from the yard without me and then after I got home, we loaded them into Moby to take to Jay's for crushing. No one had much time for cooking, eating or anything. Once Cooper left at 1:00 we still had more to do, so we ended up going out for a very early dinner (lunch for David) at The Table in Willow Glen.

We arrived early, they weren't open yet so we wandered down the street and David slipped into a restaurant to use the bathroom. I stayed outside and was waiting and I hear a "hey you, come here and give me a hug!" I turn around and there, holding open the restaurant door is Mark Baz, my very first trainer! 

I went over and gave him a hug, I hadn't seen him in years and he led me inside to meet his girlfriend who was sitting at their table by the window. 

We chatted for a while about what was going on with our kids (he and I have boys the same age), about our current lives and things in general. He told Kyra about how we met, and when he first met me I couldn't lift a 15 pound dumbbell, then he said he got me up to 65 pounds, and he was right, I had forgotten! Here is a picture taken many, many years ago when I trained with him.

Kyra wanted to know how I got arms like mine. I said "lifting lots of heavy weights!" We talked about what we were doing and I mentioned my hamstring injury, and I got up to demonstrate a Romanian Deadlift. I sat down and Kyra said "wait- stand up and turn around!" I did and she pointed to my butt. "That's what I want, how do you get that?!" I laughed and told her that I had asked Roy just yesterday when my butt blew up like it is now- it all of a sudden got big and round. Like BIG. Roy said he had noticed it Friday himself. I mean it's BIG, it almost requires it's own zip code.

Then Baz told Kyra a story that I had forgotten from so long ago. He said that I had always demonstrated "the pencil test". If you could take a pencil and place it under your butt cheek, above your hamstring (the glute/hamstring tie in) and it stayed there, you were fat. Your butt fat should not hold up the pencil! I tried this when I got home, the pencil fell immediately to the ground. 

I laughed, I had forgotten about this and told him it was like to the towel test for men. 

We left and went to dinner and as we sat at the table I told David that it was odd. When I am at the gym, I really don't get a second glance, except maybe from people who don't come there often, but when I go out say to a restaurant, people stare at me, why?

He said I am a freak! He said no normal person looks like me. I know he is not trying to hurt my feelings at all, he is just trying to get me to see myself the way others do. They see a freak, Seriously...I told him I am not big, I don't look like a bodybuilder, but he said to a regular person, I do! I look like a bodybuilder! 

It bothers me and it doesn't, I suppose it depends on my mood and what's going on. The more I thought about it, the more I realized why I am so comfortable in the gym, you see, I belong there, I am with people like myself.

Obviously we are all different, but we have similar goals and aspirations, we want to improve our bodies, our health and it means a lot to us. We take the time necessary to actually get up off the couch and go to the gym; we make an effort to eat healthy foods instead of the easy and somewhat tasty garbage.

And I realized for the first time that this is one reason why I enjoy competing, I am with people just like myself.  Don’t misunderstand me, I embrace diversity, I enjoy people of all different walks of life, but I also like being around “my own kind”, fellow competitors.

I understand that many people are curious and they cannot help but stare at others who appear different, so although I don’t feel out of place out in public, I do feel the stares, and sometimes it is annoying and I wish they would stop, I am not a freak in a freak show.

The other morning I as reading Facebook posts and Bret Contreras posted this video, and it all clicked.  At one point in my adult, weight training life I felt like the little girl dressed as the Bumblebee, but now, I am finally with other Bumblebees, it’s a happy and joyous feeling.

Email subscribers will need to navigate directly to the blog to view this video.

Judges Critique at my last show

 

I always email the head judge of my competitions to ask for feedback, I want to know how I can improve. I even ask when I come in 1st place as we all have room for improvement. This last competition I was particularly interested since I came in 1^st in masters 50+ but 7^thin open, it didn’t make sense to me.

The head judge emailed me back and suggested that I bring up the size of my calves. In October she told me the same thing, but also suggested I add size to my quads, I was thrilled that she didn’t mention the quads this time, they are bigger and it shows.

When I asked her if I would be more successful in Women’s Physique, I was stunned by the answer I got back.  Here is a portion of what she said:

“You are too hard, striated and separated for both figure and physique.

You have the size to transition into women's physique if you wanted. If you want to stay in figure then you need to soften the look and bring your muscle size down some. The new criteria for either division is a softer look. No striation and no hard/deep separation. The difference in the figure and woman's physique is size. Physique competitors can have more muscle but must maintain a softer feminine look. It is not woman's bodybuilding.”

After I recovered from being stunned I jumped up and did the happy dance. I am too hard!! Too striated!!  Too separated!!

For those of you who may be unsure of what this means let me explain:

Striated means when the subcutaneous fat is so thin, you can see the lines or striations in the muscle under the skin.

Separated means when there is clear separation between muscles, there is a distinct separation between the biceps and the triceps, they aren’t flowing together but you can clearly see they are different muscles due to the degree of development.  Each muscle stands out on its own.

Hard means the muscles are full of glycogen and pressing against the skin, causing the skin to look like it is pulled tight over the muscles. Its also a sign of limiting water- so I had cut water so much I looked tight and dry. My bodyfat was too low....

Who wouldn’t want to look like this??? (I know, many women do not)

These are all looks that I love, I have worked so hard to look like this, and I am thrilled. These are looks typically reserved for Bodybuilders, but I am not big enough to be a Bodybuilder, I don’t have the size of a Bodybuilder.  I guess I am a “mini Bodybuilder”!

What really shocked me was that she felt I was still too hard for Women’s Physique too.

What this means is I need to carry more bodyfat in the show, and not have such muscle definition. That is of course, if I am interested in placing, so I need to make that decision don’t I?

I love the lean, hard look, absolutely love it. I have also busted my butt to get the striated and separated look, I like my look. And since I train this way for me, and not for competitions I might choose not to change, I haven’t decided. I actually toyed with the idea of just starting a diet for three or four weeks and entering a show at about 4 pounds heavier than this last one and seeing what happens. I would certainly be softer wouldn’t I?

Don’t forget that I purposely decided to come in “softer” this time, from my competition in October and I did, I was about 2% higher in bodyfat,  and although I changed, the Figure "look" and judging criteria also changed, I just didn’t change enough…or the "look" and criteria changed too much - you decide.

The critique was very easy for me to accept, it would have been more difficult if she were to have said that perhaps my shoulders were not developed enough, or my glutes were too flat, or my quads too thin, but what I received was the exact opposite, I have achieved what I set out and even more than I could have imagined.  I have accomplished what many are never able to.

If I do decide to come in softer, it means a much more relaxed diet, not as much cardio, and my lifting would need to be curtailed a bit.  It sure would make prep a lot easier wouldn’t it?

I guess this shows that my training with Roy is exactly right- he got me where I wanted to be, so if you are looking for a trainer who can help get you "too hard, striated and separated", he's the guy (just don't try to even take my times, I won't let you); and my diet, well I have it all dialed in don’t I?

For now, I am eating and training just as I always have and when I do decide on the next competition, I will have hopefully made up my mind about how I want to look when I step on stage.: shredded or soft.  I can show up however I feel I want to. What do you all think?

Changes and Goals

I spent all day in my competition suit- it's not a bikini, it's a custom made velvet suit covered in crystals- and it isn't cheap. It's also tight, very tight. You can see how it wears away the spray tan where the straps were. 


I got home, and after midnight pulled my hair back, and got ready to wash all this make up and tan off, you can imagine how good a shower would feel huh?


Everything in my life goes is phases. each phase has a distinct goal, always. Ask me at any time in my life, on any day what I am up to and I will have an answer- I know where I am going and what I need to do to get there.


My goals always change once I reach the previous goal, so there is always a time allotted and an outcome expected.


I have a new goal and a change happening all at once.


First, the change.


I have been writing this blog everyday for over two years. I missed one week when I went on vacation in February. Although my reader survey overwhelming showed me that readers want to see this everyday, I am changing that. I will not be writing daily, I just cannot keep it up. 


I have a full time job, a family  and a demanding fitness regime. I try to blog about meaningful and interesting topics that will help people understand body re composition and diet, and incorporating it into their life. It's very time consuming though, and sometimes I feel stretched. If I were getting paid and making my living from it, that would be one thing, but I am not, I still have a job to pay the bills.


I anticipate that I will write three to five times a week.   I suggest that you send me a friend request on Facebook, "like" my athlete page on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, subscribe to email updates or in a reader. That way, you will never miss one post.


I also ask that you send comments and feedback so I know what you want. Most of you want to know about diet, nutrition and how to prepare easy and healthy meals. That is the toughest stuff to write about, but limiting my posts may allow me to write more about those things that interest you most. 


As always, I love to hear from you, keep the comments and mails coming and please share my blog with friends and family so my readership grows. 


Second, my goal.


Women's Physique.


Yes, I had thought about this about 8 months ago and decided it wasn't' for me, they looked too much like bodybuilders, I am not a bodybuilder and I don't care to look like one. 


Well, the look is changing as the division matures. Judges are now leaning toward a less muscular look, more like a bigger Figure competitor.  Figure is getting softer and less muscular- I have no intention of changing my look to be softer and less muscular to fit their criteria- I don't want to look like that.  I like my look, and my look seems to fit into Women's Physique. I think I have just gotten too muscular for Figure. I am waiting to hear what the head judge has to say, but that could take a few weeks.


I did promise David and Cooper no more competitions this summer, so I shall practice the mandatory moves, find some upbeat music I like and create a routine. I will practice like I am in a competition, and if I find that I like it, I will then diet down and enter one, date is to be determined later. 


I am really, really excited. I have loved dance since I was in high school and I can rock the stage, believe me!


And if it all works out, I shall have three pair of size 8 clear Lucite hooker heels- free to the first new Figure gals who nicely ask for them!


Until then, let me know what you want to learn about. 

My Show

It's almost midnight and I wanted to make sure you all knew what the results were! I was in two categories, "open" which is anyone of a certain height range (mine was over 5' 2" and up to and including 5' 4"); and then masters 50 and over.


There are five trophies awarded in each category.  I did not place in the open category. I must say it was disappointing, but then I realized that I have a lot of balls to think at the age of 51 I can strut out there and beat those younger gals. And I still think I can, and I will, but it all depends on who shows up and what they are looking for. I have not given up at all.


Several women thought I was in the Women's Physique category and not Figure, so this is encouraging to me, that's the division I wanted to move to.  I didn't think I was ready  yet, but apparently everyone else does! This is making me think about the possibilities, which I am really too tired to write about tonight, I still have to shower and get all this make up off my face and body.


The open category had 14 women in it, a big class. 


In the Master's 50 and over I came in 1st place! I was a little unsure at first, there was one other woman who could have taken it, I think my glutes were better, and the delts of course. This was a smaller class, only four of us.


For most of the day and evening I had a great time, I met some fun and interesting women and gave a lot of advise about diet and what I ate through this all. I think I came in looking better than I ever have, honestly. More muscle, a bit more bodyfat, face wasn't drawn, and everything looked tight.


I could not have done this without the fantastic training from Roy Ganju, of BodyComp Personal Training Gym, without whom I wouldn't look the way I do today, and I am more pleased with my physique than I have ever been, ever! He was able to add size to my frame, especially my quads and I know he is as excited about changing my physique to be what I want it to be also, its like Michelangelo and one of his sculptures. He works on my physique until he feels it is perfect- I like that. Have you ever been to the Louvre and seen the Statue of David? I think I stood and stared for an hour, it is a true work of art. And the time and advise that I received from Monique Varela was priceless. These are two people you want on your team, the winning team.


Of course, I cannot neglect the two people who have endured my diet and funky road trip- constant bathroom-pit stop schedule, and all the other fun things that go along with my hobby; David and Cooper. They put up with a lot, you would not believe how much they do. 


Thank you all (and David- thank you for the flowers).


I am looking forward to plotting out my next escapade! I am thinking, maybe just practice a routine for Physique, and see how that plays out this summer. This might be where I fit now, the judges are now leaning towards a Figure look as opposed to the Bodybuilder look. I understand that they seem to be awarding a softer look in Figure, and I don't want a softer look. I like looking hard and ripped, so, maybe. Maybe Physique!


Sometimes disappointment opens your eyes to other opportunities that have been staring you in the face for the longest time. Now I am excited!

My Day!

I changed my plans, cancelled my hotel and decided to come home after registration. After all, my tan was super late- 5:00 pm and then registration at 6:30 pm and I wouldn't have to be back until 10:00 am the following day.

I thought I could eat hot food, sleep in my own comfy bed and not haul so much stuff to the theatre. Turns out they told us later we had to be back by 9:00bam for another athlete briefing...Oh well, I was up early and had time for this!

I kept my hair simple, as you age I think simpler is more attractive, too much spray and fussiness makes you look like "mutton dressed as lamb" as my mother in law would have said!

Actually I was aiming for a look I saw on Larissa Reis, I love her look, and decided if it worked for her, it could work for me! I am liking the way it flows and moves.

 I've had my breakfast of champions: Steak, one and a half baked potatoes with lemon and cheesecake. Only enough water to take a fish tab and a caffeine pill to ward of the lack of caffeine headache. Can't wait for a hot cup of coffee tomorrow when I wake up!

I'm off! Lunch will be Fuddruckers for a burger with Roy and a friend of his, I might sneak a sip of iced tea in there!

Future Plans

My competition is in a few days, I have worked very, very hard to get where I am today. Most people will never understand exactly what that work was though.


I train every day, year round. It's not a "once in a while" hobby for me, or some event on my social calendar. It's me. It's a big part of what makes Kristy, "Kristy".


The prospect of spending the day without any type of weight training is not something I would look forward to, ever. To me, training is not only essential to maintain my lean and muscular physique year round, it guarantees that I will think clearer and avoid unnecessary stress, and it assures that I will age comfortably and shouldn't suffer many age related diseases and ailments that most folks have.


It's really a non-negotiable and necessary if I am to thrive.


When I start prepping for a competition the intensity is kicked up a notch. The training might become a bit more strict, I incorporate regular cardio even when I may not want to and I adhere to a very strict diet.


People ask "Are you in training now?" or "How is your training going?" I know they are trying to be supportive and show interest, and maybe just start up a conversation.  I am always (I think)  polite, but you see, the training never stops! And it always goes well, so this is nothing new. I am always in training, always.


The competition brings a whole new twist to it all though, it's all in my head. It's like a little jack hammer running day and night, a constant nagging in the back on my head. I am thinking about my diet, thinking about every single thing I put in my mouth, thinking about the amount of cardio, thinking about the grip of my lift. 


So when it's over I look forward to the hammering stopping, I look forward to some idle time in my head, time to lift just for the fun of it. And eat too, for the sheer enjoyment of it instead of the nutritional aspect, to enjoy being with other people and laughing and sharing food and drink together.


Tuesday I was walking across campus to pick up my produce, and since I work in Housing, there are always lots of students sitting around outside our buildings. As I walked toward my office, bag of produce in hand a student calls over to me "Excuse me! Excuse me!?" and I stopped and turned towards her. She was sitting with another woman and a male, they all looked at me. I was dressed in loose, baggy, army pants, black tennis shoes and a bright gold tank top, I didn't dress for anyone today. She asked:


"Do you do special training? I mean a special program? To look like that"



I walked over and smiled and explained what I do, that I had a competition in a few days and I lift weights, a lot of lifting. And run stairs. They sat there looking up at me.


"It's looks good" she said. And the other two nodded their heads in agreement.

I am taking a few days off to prep. I have nails to get done, hair to get cut, food to cook and a tan to get applied. I have to pack up and stay in a hotel and won't have my computer. I probably won't be writing again until Sunday morning to give you the results....


I say "probably" because I never say never.

Week 3 to Competition (week 7 of diet)

I got butterflies in my stomach when I typed the post title. 3 weeks! Oh my goodness, it has gone so incredibly fast, I am feeling rushed now, like I'm not ready. Time is supposed to drag on, I am supposed to suffer endlessly and whine and complain. I don't think I did! I think I was too busy to even think about it all, good thing I have done this many times before!

I got a great laugh taking these pictures, David and Cooper weren't home so I was alone and the doorbell rings. I walk over in my heels, carrying the camera and open the door to a very astonished man. "I was just taking pictures" I said, like he would have ANY idea what on earth I was talking about. He wanted to sell me something but quickly changed his mind, he really couldn't speak. He left quickly. 

I am at the stage where I feel "small", I have lost a lot of bodyfat and I look flat and stringy because my muscles are not full of glycogen, and full muscles are happy muscles. It's temporary, as soon as I start eating my starches I will fill out. I had a "cheat meal" on April 11, it was a plate FULL of gnocchi and sausage and cream, I looked great 20 to 30 hours later!

I weighed 3 pounds more the following day due to all the glycogen and water in my muscles, then the next day I was back down to my same eight of 121, right where I was before my cheat meal. 

Below, I think the front looks good, once I cut my water things all tighten up.

The "smileys" on my lower glutes are just about gone! Yahoo! The back is fine, it's always fine.

Finally the stomach is flattening, I have been practicing posing differently, Monique met with me and suggested some changes, so I am going with her expert advise! Leaving the arm hang loosely at my side, it does look better. 

This side pose needs some work, I will practice every single day now. 

 I am feeling more comfortable here, legs look good too!

This side pose looks better, my stomach looks flatter, the hair, it's a mess though! I have been cooking and cleaning all day, and worked all Saturday so it wasn't much of a weekend.

Tuesday will be another cheat meal I think, I have to make sure I don't drop lower, I do not want to go below 120 and I could see the huge scale at the gym was closer to 120 than 121 this morning. 

Victory

vic·to·ry

  [vik-tuh-ree, vik-tree] noun, plural -ries.

1.

a success or triumph over an enemy in battle or war.

2.

an engagement ending in such triumph: American victories in the Pacific were won at     great cost.

3.

the ultimate and decisive superiority in any battle orcontest: The new vaccine effected a    victory over poliomyelitis.

4.

a success or superior position achieved against any opponent, opposition, difficulty, etc.: a moral victory.

How do you measure your victories? Who is your enemy? What is the battle?

For me, Victory is measured by achieving what I set out to achieve for myself. Fighting the long, hard battle of the diet, the deprivation, the exhaustion, the never ending training, the longing, the excitement, the anxiety, the list is endless.

The Power

Power because I am the one who is making the choices, the decisions, every exercise, every cardio session, every meal. It's my choice whether I do it or not.

I can quit at any time, but I will never feel the thrill of the victory will I? I won't ever quit.

I am my own opponent, there is no one else I am competing with.  I want to be the best I can be, and when I am, I have won the battle. But the battle isn't over, there's another one ahead.

Setting a goal for myself, a tough one, is daunting, but it is exhilarating too. And when I have achieved that goal, there is yet another.

My enemy? Myself. Self doubt can creep in, fear of failure, of letting myself and those around me down.

In the end, when the battle has been fought, I bask in the light knowing that I have done something many could never even imagine starting let alone finish.

And I feel the Power again.