The Beat Goes On (Hamstring Injury)

Drums keep pounding rhythm to the brain. La dee da de dee, Le dee da dee dah

I have an injury. This may not be news to you (I have been writing about it for a long time) but I am coming to terms with it. Maybe you noticed my Monday Morning Motivation was about injuries? It helps me to put it all into perspective.

After my chiropractor released my contracted glute muscle, it, and muscles all down my hamstring were inflamed, and I started hitting them hard again, I have been doing everything within my power to grow my legs, twice a week I hit the quads and twice a week the hams. I may have overdone it. 

Wednesday night, a week ago, I trained with Roy, heavy squats and was fine. We tried to see if it was my “magic pants” that made my squats so easy on Saturday and it wasn’t just the pants, I really could knock out some heavy squats; he decided we were going too light when I was able to do 12 reps my last set.

Lunges were next and they also engage the hamstring, the left was painful, the power wasn’t there I stopped early as it hurt and then I become afraid that I am doing harm to myself.

I got home and strapped on my ice pack, once I took it off I could see a large, hard bulge on my left hamstring.

Good looking hamstrings do bulge, but it’s a smooth transition, you should not notice a “lump”. I asked David if he could see anything and he pretty much flipped, it was big. He starts to search on the Internet for what it could be. I don’t bother as I know there is a whole lot of garbage and opinion on the Internet; I will just go see my doctor as I had been told by Dr. Leahy to do.

I texted Roy and told him I would skip my training in the morning, after all, it was hamstring day and it didn’t sound like a very good idea at this point. I slept in and it felt amazing!

I saw my doctor the next morning and described the last two months and my various treatments. He examined me, moved me all which way and checked out the hamstring. I was wearing my shirt and a thong (pants had been removed to see the hamstrings), he asked me to face away from him and bend over. Hmmm…he was sitting butt height, facing my butt, this is rather awkward! Oh well, over I go and he pushes and prods my hamstring and asks questions. The whole time I am thinking "bikini gals do this all the time, what's the big deal?"

On the table on one side, the other, more pushing and prodding. On my stomach and back, again over and over.

The decision? I have a hamstring strain, which is minute tears in the muscle. He said because I never felt a pop or acute pain, it was most likely due to the contracted glute muscle, then all of the muscles became inflamed. The bulge I see is where the muscle attaches to the tendon, and tendons don’t swell and become inflamed, they just tear.  He also found that my left IT band is inflamed and tender.

He asked what I would say if he told me to stop training and I replied “I would say no.” “I thought so” he said.  He has been my doctor since I was 23 years old, so that means 28 years we have been together, he knows me all too well.

He asked if we could then perhaps agree on physical therapy? "Yes, I will do that, no problem!" I replied. I have to continue to take anti-inflammatories  and I also need to get a standing work station for my computer at work.  I can continue to train, but go light on the hammies and stop when I feel any pain. It will heal over time.

I was angry when I left his office, and I sat in the car for a bit just thinking about it all. Then I put it into perspective. Its not like I am an Olympic athlete who has been training all her life for this one moment only to become injured. Not like Walter Dix, who injured his hamstring at the Olympic Trials this June.

I will keep training but need to go easy on my hamstrings, so what will it mean? The worst case scenario is I cannot do my sprints and stairs and am relegated to walking on my treadmill. Glute Ham Raise is out and Roy and I need to find other ways to train hamstrings without causing pain and more damage.

Before I left the doctor's office parking lot, a song came to me and I ended up putting it on my iPod. I am a child of the 60's, the era of free love. This song was on the Billboard top 10 in 1967, and was one of my favorites for years. Sonny and Cher- before Cher underwent so many cosmetic surgeries. The audio isn't the best, but the recording is great. It brings back good memories and will help me to remember that no matter what happens to me:

"The Beat Goes On"

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The Good Humor Truck

Anne and I bumped into each other at the club while we were filling up at the ice machine on Saturday morning.

“My body feels like it was hit by a truck! I told her. “But it feels like it was hit by an ice cream truck, not a big rig! 

She said “Oh, you mean a Good Humor truck?!” and we both laughed, I knew what she meant.

I started back lifting on Wednesday, exactly 4 weeks to the day after I broke my rib. For the first two weeks I was in too much pain to do much, but come the third week I was pounding out the steps on the stair mill, an hour a day. “Get me off this stupid machine!” I was crying inside.

Monday and Tuesday I started back with my lunch time stairs and jump rope, come Wednesday my legs were toast. Wednesday was shoulders, I was strong, I didn’t drop my weights, and I felt great.

Thursday was glutes, that wasn’t quite as easy, perhaps as my core was more involved. Friday was back and biceps. I enjoyed that, my bi’s were quite sore on Saturday. My weights had to be lowered for these exercises too.

 

Saturday? The day I had been anticipating, legs. It’s my deadlift and squat day, among other things. I have always prided myself on how heavy I can go and still maintain good form. Really, if you aren’t using good form you are defeating the purpose and risk injuring yourself, so why do it?

I had to drop my weights dramatically. I could only deadlift 135. Front squats were only 85, and back squats 115. I was feeling like a failure. 

Then I realized, it’s not only getting my body back into the swing of things, it’s getting my head into it too. You see, for me, weights are a head trip, pure and simple.

My head has gone through many interesting phases in the last four weeks. Feeling scared, sorry for myself, anger, frustration, embarrassment, anxiety, elation, pleasure, accomplishment, sadness, enlightenment.

I have never taken four weeks off in my life. Even when I had meningitis last year (was it only last year?); I lifted, only I did it with a painfully pounding headache at times…

In the past four weeks I have learned that I am an accomplished lifter, I know how to stay the course and eat healthfully without "dieting", and still look smoking hot; I have learned to enjoy food and wine with my family, I have learned that I can, and I should relax more often. 

I have learned that while competing was good for me, and it may still be good in the future, it’s only one competition, with the same people I always see, talking the same stuff I always hear, saying the same positive (and negative) things about others as they always do.

There was a time when I felt I HAD to compete to look good. I HAD to compete to justify my obsession with weights. I HAD to compete to prove something.

I no longer do. I have proven myself to the most important person in the world: 

ME

And, I am quite proud to say, that I am most impressed with the me I have become.

Just look at me in the picture above! I look pretty darn happy huh? And good too! It was Saturday after 2 hours at the gym, I seem to have maintained well, sore but still in shape. After a couple days lifting my arms are already starting to look fuller again.

This is what I wear to the gym, everyday, 365 days a year. A bra top and these little shorts. I like the way I look, and I only look better when I am close to a competition. 

I know many competitors who wouldn't be caught dead in public like this, unless it was 2 weeks before a competition, because they are not proud of how they look in the "off season", or they think they need to be "stage ready" to allow anyone to see their bodies. Pretty sad state of affairs, not sure if it is true body dysmorphic disorder, but I definitely know several who fit this mold! Me? I think most women would give their right eye to look this good in the "off season" or "on season"!

Tonight (I am writing this on Saturday), my son’s 17^th birthday, I am making a nice dinner (pork Milanese with pasta and homemade tomato sauce); he goes off to a concert while we watch UFC 129 in HD and enjoy a few glasses of wine.

Sunday? Shoulders again. I suspect I will still be running from that Good Humor truck, but I am quickly running faster than it can drive and I can barely see it behind me.

Next week, on Saturday is the competition I had been prepping for when I injured myself. Will I be going to sit in the audience and cheer on everyone? 

No. I wish them all well, I hope they come away feeling accomplished, but I won't be there. You see, competitions happen all the time, this one takes place every single May without fail. 


Saturday I will be attending a much more important event, my son's varsity lacrosse team is in the quarter finals, that doesn't happen all the time, and what would they do without the team mom there anyway?