Stress

We all have times of stress, and stress can be very different for each of us. We each handle situations differently. Some people might get extremely stressed at the thought of having to present at a meeting, while others love the thought of it.

I tend to be a fairly stress free person, as each year goes by I learn that getting worked up about things I cannot change does me more harm than good, so I try not to sweat the small stuff. My husband says he needs to worry so much because I don’t worry about anything. I think he might be exaggerating a bit though.

I have been under a tremendous amount of stress now for the last month and a half; I am starting to feel the toll it is taking on my body, my emotions, my whole being. 

I have been caring for a friend who is dying, she is much younger than me and currently needs round the clock care. Although I have arranged to have a caregiver there 24 hours a day, I am still with her almost every day, and we spend a lot of time in the hospital. I am responsible for her day to day living, it isn't something I was prepared for and the challenges I face daily are astounding. I wasn't ready for the medical power of attorney, the durable power of attorney, paying bills, managing finances, divorce attorneys, wills, statement of assets, life insurance, prescriptions, transportation, grocery shopping, doctors calling, social workers calling, I am sure I can add more to the list. Just think of your life, then pretend you need to do everything the same for someone else.


Whew!

This is the type of trigger that sets many people into a tailspin, and these are the times when it is most important to stick to your plan.

Thursday we left for the hospital at noon, and I ended up driving home at about 6:30pm without her, she would be staying again. I last ate at about 10:30 am, as I had a meeting to attend prior to taking her to the hospital. I had food with me, I always do, but the afternoon progressed much differently than planned. I have an aversion to eating in a hospital exam room, or the Emergency Room, not sure why, but I do and since that is where I was for 5  1/2 hours, I had no food. I also only drank one liter of water in that time, although that is fairly good, it is not what I typically drink.

I drove home, emotionally and physically exhausted, it was a repeat of the prior weekend, so much time at the hospital. All I could think of was a big, rare, juicy cheeseburger on a white bun with mayo; French fries and a glass of red wine.

The drive was long though, as it was commute traffic so I sat on the freeway, looking at my speedometer going from 10 to 20 miles per hour, this would take forever. I called David and asked him to help. He cooked some asparagus, and some eggs. He took my turkey patty out of the fridge so it could finish defrosting.

When I am stressed I don’t crave carbohydrates, I crave fats. I like the textures and satisfaction I get from fat. Peanut Butter, rare beef, undercooked egg yolks, cheese.

So to help me stay on my diet I planned to eat my Spanish Turkey Patty and then supplement it with a semi-hard cooked egg. The yolk would still be soft and creamy to satisfy me. Having David cook the asparagus helped to make everything move along faster as soon as I got home, I can eat my vegetables at room temperature. 

I didn’t have the wine either.

My lesson is to always have food prepared, such as my turkey patty that was defrosting, and have some healthy vegetables ready for you. Add a little something to help make it better- like my whole egg, it changed my meal from healthy to sublime. Ask someone to help if you can. David would have made that cheeseburger for me had I asked, but I didn’t thank goodness. 

Don’t let the daily stresses side rail you, it’s not a valid excuse. Had I chosen an unhealthy meal, not only would I be tired the next day but I would feel angry at myself too. Now, I am only tired, but I have been for weeks, so it's OK.

It is very easy to rationalize in our minds that it is OK to deviate "just this one time, I have had a hell of a day". But how many days do you have like that? How often would you find yourself saying that?


Don't act on impulse, you have a plan, stick to it, you can do it if you want to.

Save it for a celebration, don't use "life" as an excuse.

We must be careful not to let our current appetites steal away any chance we might have for a future feast. 

Jim Rohn

Different Words

I weighed myself today and was totally blown away, I am at 123 pounds which means my weight is about the same. I feel softer, and my shoulders are not what they used to be, but I am guessing after a week of training they may look like they used to!

I have been walking on the stairmill for 60 minutes every morning, and I have made a new friend doing it! You know how  much I detest cardio, but you see, every cloud has a sliver lining!

I have spoken to "S" on a few other occasions, just briefly. She trains with the fellow I know, the one who is the trainer I would train with if I had one, he used to train my son and was also a trainer for the 49ers for a time. I value and respect his knowledge.

Apparently she had asked him about me a few times, and he explained how we knew each other, she likes the look of my physique and we are just about the same age.

Lately we have been talking about what we enjoy with lifting, how we each stay on track with busy careers and seem to manage our food and training quite successfully. I have the added stress of a family to juggle, she has a hectic travel schedule.

She has been very encouraging about my injury, she has experienced quite a few herself and it's just part of being a serious lifter she says, and I agree. Today she told me I stand out because there really are not many women in the gym who train seriously, that's why she noticed me.

It has been 15 days, and I have seen how my words and responses to people can affect them. Earlier as they asked me "Kristy, how's your rib feeling?" I might respond with "Oh , it is so sore when I sleep, it aches when I roll over" (which is true), but then they would get a scrunched up, pained look on their face and wish me well and walk away...Now, my response is "Better and better everyday! Soon I will be swinging weights around! ha ha" and they smile, give me a hug, talk about other things in life and generally stay engaged.

I relayed somewhat the same information in both responses, but in a different way, I used different words. It was received much differently.

Today I received this video from a competitor, Nancy Georges. It really hit home for me.

Email subscribers will need to navigate directly to the blog to view this video.

Peace

Peace, what makes you feel at peace? I have found that I am a creature of habit, oh this is not a new revelation, but it becomes more and more evident every day. I thrive on structure, on routine, on set ways of doing things.

Don't get me wrong, I love surprise and I enjoy being spontaneous, but I am at my best when everything goes along as planned and when I am in control.

I have realized that I cannot always be in control, and that is OK, I need to learn to accept that. A long time ago I stopped worrying about things that I couldn't control, that only causes frustration and stress. If you cannot control or change it, is there any point in worrying about it? NO.

This really hit home when I was sick. As I write this, it has been 29 days since I became ill. I am definitely getting better, I think I shall be right as rain in only a few more days. I have actually gone the last three days with only a slight headache when I wake up, and once in the evening. They have been extremely mild and I am still on medication, so it will be a thing of the past soon.

During my illness I would get many people asking what was wrong? Why don't they have a definitive answer? This is crazy, it's going on so long. They were all very concerned, and I love them all for caring, but I just wasn't that worried. I mean, I was sick, and seeing two doctors, what good would it do me to worry about it? So I didn't.

But I found myself worrying about not being able to lift weights, this walking stuff is for the birds! I tried to tell myself that I shouldn't worry as it was out of my control, what good would it to for my health to add additional stress? So I grew to enjoy my "short" 5 mile walks, it was actually very peaceful and relaxing. Especially early in the morning when no one is awake yet. I would listen to pod casts from the "Natural Bodybuilding Radio" channel, and got lots of great tips and ideas.

Now, I am back to my regular schedule. I am up at 4, off to the gym, then to work, I love all of it. This weekend I prepared a huge batch of vegetables for lunches and spent 2 1/2 hours in the gym on Saturday morning, my favorite thing to do, and that didn't even include a steam or shower! I am lifting, and lifting heavy. I feel good, I feel at peace again.