Dinner Out

You can see that David is happy, we don't go out to eat much, and certainly haven't in a very long time. It was Friday, Cooper was attending a party (well a limo was taking them to the beach, he came home for a blanket I didn't ask questions...)


We went to a small Italian restaurant in Campbell called Tigelleria.  Their food is organic,  sustainable, and they are members of Slow Food, just like us!


I don't have a competition, at least not for months so I can relax the diet. I was good all week long, and was looking forward to a fun night out, just like a "normal" person! 


They brought us some small flat bread and three spreads, hummus, tapenade and pea puree.


We started with a glass of sparkling wine and carpaccio. Thin slices of raw beef with arugula, capers, olive oil and Parmesan cheese. 


Then we split the squid ink pasta with shrimps and asparagus and a glass of wine.


Then David had Salamelle Mantovane, pork sausages made with nutmeg and lambrusco, served with a great rustic polenta. 


I had Cinghiale al Forno, wild boar tenderloin marinated in valpolicella and stuffed with rosemary and black olives, wrapped in pancetta served with shallot and carrot puree and roasted chestnuts.


And wine.


Then dessert. I don't usually eat dessert but I am glad I did. I may just come back here for a coffee and this dessert again. 


It was Salame Dolce; sweet chocolate salame made with chocolate, dry cookie crumbs, almonds, butter and sugar. 


You can see me thoroughly enjoying it here. I had a great time, and didn't feel the least bit guilty for eating every last bit!

Sunday morning I got home from the gym, David asked if I ate his left over sausage and polenta. Hell no, before the gym?! Cooper comes out and says "I hope no one was saving that sausage, it was great!" He even ate and enjoyed the polenta. Cooper is a foodie, and to please a 17 year old foodie is pretty tough.

I would say give them a try, they are on Open Table. Make a reservation. 

Loving Life

It always takes me a while, but I settle in.

I am talking about loving my bigger "improved" self LOL!

When  you compete in any physique based sport, you tend to develop a self image that is hard to live up to. For you and those around you. When you start to look closer to "normal", you start to freak out, things jiggle where they used to be hard as a rock, clothes are tighter, you all of a sudden move slower.

And who on earth would wear black and pink and polka dots all together? 

ME!

I like myself a lot when I get bigger, like in the picture here, I think I look more athletic, more "real", but it takes me a long time to get there. My head I mean.

I never let myself get fat. No one would ever call me fat, I know that. In fact, at my "fattest" I probably am still the envy of 90% of the female population, I look that good.

I know many competitors who do allow themselves to get too fat though. They gain way too much weight. That's their deal and their demons, I am not here to fight their battles, I have my own. 

It is about now when I start to realize how selfish my dieting can seem to my family. I try not to impact them, but it cannot be helped. They have grown accustomed, although it doesn't mean they like it.

I go through this every year, but this is the first time in three years that I have been this "free" for this long and I am really starting to like it.

This weekend I attended the Santa Cruz Vintners Festival with David. What was that? Actually two old farts driving around Santa Cruz drinking wine and listening to reggae on Pandora. I ate tuna out of a can still, and then enjoyed all the nibbles at each winery too! 

I made banana bread for Cooper and carrot cake cupcakes too, I even had (half) of one.

I went to Mark and Virginia's and had some sparkling wine while Sophie showed me her new room, and Timothy sported his new haircut. 

At one point Virgina leaned over to pull a hair from the rear of my pants, a long blond one, obviously mine. I thanked her and said "Everything is getting bigger" and she laughed and said "Yes, but it's very firm!"

Ha ha you can get big and stay fit, it is a balancing act for sure.

It sounds like a normal fun weekend, but when you compete, you cannot do these things, it's been a long time.

Oh, and next weekend? It's the second half of the Festival! We are going to Nonna's in Redwood Estates.

I will stay on track, and will still require time to adjust to my new bigger improved self, all the while enjoying life.

My greatest pleasure this weekend? A wonderful Greek salad David made. We went to the farmers' market, bought ripe, juicy tomatoes and cucumbers. I picked oregano from the garden and he drizzled olive oil all over the salad.

Sheer heaven. 

A Sunday Outing

It is always so amazing to me how drastically life changes when I am not in competition mode. I realize how much time and energy I spend on the sole pursuit of my goal.

And what is the goal? It is to have the best physique, as determined by the 12 or so judges (mostly male) sitting in the orchestra pit of the auditorium, looking up at me as I pose next to other women. And what is the best physique? Well, I am really not sure, they seem to change their minds, and honestly, sometimes no one can really understand what they are awarding, often the winner isn’t who the other competitors would choose.

And to attain this physique? You cannot eat a damn thing that anyone else wants to, for three months. Basically life is gray and monotonous, it doesn’t have to be awful, but it certainly isn’t exciting.

Since I have finally accepted the fact that I won’t be competing in the near future, especially since just picking up my cat hurt my side, I have settled down into my normal life, back to enjoying simple things that many people take for granted, yet I often avoided, only because my sights were on the goal.

This past week at work has been only what I can call horrendous, no one was injured, no one died, but it has been extremely stressful, and it won’t get much better for a few weeks. Saturday was a very long day, we had 10,000 people descend on us and we had technical issues and I was supposed to maintain a sense of semblance, continue business and ensure I did what I was there to do, in the absence of a working computer system. Right.

David and Cooper stopped by about noon, they took one look at me and asked if I had eaten anything and advised me to drink water, my lips were dry and cracked, I hadn’t done either, I was way too busy.

I got home late Saturday and had a cocktail, then some sparkling wine and some wine with dinner. I set my alarm to get to the gym when they opened at 6am, I couldn’t go the day before as I had to be at work at 7am to get set up.

I awoke Saturday night at 1am with a pounding headache, I am sure it was due to lack of water, and drinking alcohol, I am not used to it and certainly not used to drinking several glasses. I was still awake at 3am. I decided to turn off the alarm, a very odd thing for me to do.

 I awoke at 6:30am and went to the gym; I walked my usual 60 minutes on the stair mill, chatting every now and again with folks. Then a long shower and an even longer steam and then home to eat.

David and I decided to wander down to the farmers market, we bought meat at Prather Ranch, they have fantastic organic pork, and incredible ground beef that is ground from one animal, so it’s not mixed together with huge vats of other beef, no chance on e-coli, and I love their meat. Even Cooper specifically asks for their ground beef, it tastes better than any he has ever had.

We picked up herbs, mizuna, fingerlings, jams from Frog Hollow Farm, mini kabocha, a plate of enchiladas for Coopers breakfast.

I asked David if we could go to Opa in Los Gatos, I still crave that Greek salad I have been dreaming about for weeks. As we drove in the sunshine, with the top down I told him I am not feeling well, emotionally, I am really bothered. I think it is work, but I am not sure. Do you ever experience that? You know something is nagging at you, eating away at you, yet you cannot put your finger on it. I think it is the stresses of my job; I need to somehow get past this.

We got into Opa, it was noisy and packed. On Sundays they have all you can drink mimosas for $12.99. The last thing on earth I want is vats of cheap sparkling wine and even cheaper orange juice, but you could see so many people were having a fabulous time with theirs!

We had a glass of sauvignon blanc and ordered the flaming cheese and pita, it is great. Then I ordered my favorite dish (not on the menu, but they do it anyway), seafood skewers (prawns and scallops grilled) on a Greek salad, dressing on the side. David decided to order the same.

This dish is completely healthy and a great dish for anyone watching their weight and concerned with eating lots of vegetables and lean protein. Only use a small amount of dressing, or as David did, none.

Another glass of wine and we paid the bill and wandered down the street. We were standing in front of Fleur de Cocoa, I had to go in.

We had a cup of coffee and a mini croissant. I picked out several chocolates to take home, three of each.

As I settled in the car, I realized that for a couple hours I had forgotten everything, I laughed, I ate, I joked, and David and I had fun talking with the rather drunk large group of people next to us. We drove home, in the warm sunshine, with the top down and the wind blowing in my hair, I rejoiced in the beautiful green of my town.